Pour one out for the Neopets we left for dead

Real quick, let me change your life: you can still go on Neopets. I do, and ohhhh my god, the games are so much easier now that all of my fine motor skills are fully developed so I'm RICH with Neopoints. I wish I could pay off my credit card bill with my Neopoints.

Now that we've established that you can in fact go Neohome again, let's talk about what we used to spend hours and hours doing after school.

Hop the fuck on your rig and let's game, nerds:

Ok, so remember how much time you spent slaving over creating the perfect Neopets with the perfect colors and mannerisms?

Yeah, I have a Strawberry Fields Forever Gelert, what of it? Whatever your Neopet of choice was (I always like the ones that looked like dogs, tbh), you repped it so haaard. It was your shop keeper, your guild theme, your fan art drawing theme of choice. A

Except for when it was time to ditch their ass at the pound :/

It was sooo hard but like, how else were you going to get a limited-release Cybunny when they were publicly available on Cynbunny Day? It only comes once a year!

If we're being totally honest, the best part of the game was gambling

Nothing felt so good as settling the fuck in after school and spinning the damn faerie wheel. Ugh, did you guys know it's 500 Neopoints now? TBT to when it was 250, am I right? Inflation is killing me.

I never got the good shit, though. It's always the stupid question mark that only gives you 152 NPs. But it's OK because we still have scratchcards:

Didn't win on that one either, damn.

Time to head to the mines so I can feed my family

Fine, so I'm still not good at the games. Whatever. Like you're better than me because you can make mad money on Meerca Chase? Joke's on you, because luckily there are tons of social services in Neopia.

I neeeed that omelet!

And the jelly. And the soup kitchen. And the Money Tree.

I'm an irresponsible spender. I need government assistance or my pets will die. Neopets has such amazing social service programs, America could really take note, tbh.

I'm pretty sure every problem in my life could be solved with a Faerie Paintbrush

A Faerie Paintbrush would clear up my skin. A Faerie Paintbrush would put money in my bank account, food on my table, and make my ex come back. Maybe I need to put it on my vision board or something.

It's 11:11, time to wish for it!