Five ways to entertain yourself on that shelf he’s stored you on while he fucks somebody else

Some weren’t lucky enough to have spent a large portion of their teen and young-adult life waiting around on a guy, but for those who were, we can attest to how rewarding it was. We learned from it, we grew and we didn’t waste a single second of our time going on dates with guys who might have been perfect for us.

However, the time dedication can seem daunting to some, so I figured I’d supply you with some guidance for the three to four years you’ll waste spend waiting on that perfect someone. Remember, when it starts dirty, it ends great.

 Spend a lot of time thinking and talking about him

Your friends and family may tire of this, but you know you’re going to end up together in the end, so it’ll all be worth it. Someone is going to need to know what to say at your wedding.

Really remember to go all out here and invest every last drop of your emotional energy in it. You should feel like you have absolutely nothing left when you’re done.

Check your phone for texts from him every four to five minutes

There will only actually be a text there every four to five days, but you wouldn’t want to miss it, since he’ll be expecting immediate satisfaction and all times — he’s not into shelves.

When he does message, be available for whatever it is he’s looking for, but don’t seem needy or like you’ve been waiting around for it. This will put a larger block of time between now and the next time he decides to message you again.

Turn down social invites, and wait for him to call instead

When Friday night rolls around and your girlfriends hit you up about going out, here are a few polite excuses you can use to reject their offer: “I’m not feeling well,” “I’m not drinking this week,” “I’ll catch you guys next time.”

Whatever you do, don’t tell them you’re staying in for him. They might try and talk you out of it like it’s a bad idea or something, but what do they know.

Act like you’re busier than you actually are

He’ll only keep coming back if he is sure you haven’t actually formed that emotional attachment we talked about in the first one. Don’t worry too much about this or think it’s weird. It’s just a game, and games are fun.

Aren’t they?

Above all, do not actually stress yourself by forwarding your own personal or professional life in any way

He will hate this, and we wouldn’t want to start off on the wrong foot after three years.

We’re trying to impress not scare off here, and if you get too smart you might threaten him, or worse, someone else amazing might fall for you.