You’re not a bad feminist for taking back a guy who cheated on you

I don’t know when feminism became synonymous with always taking the high-road, and I don’t know when refusing to take back a cheater became that high-road, but the argument is tired.

And with that argument, if taking back an ex really does make you a bad feminist, then 74 percent of women in the US are bad feminists.

It’s like we’ve forgotten what feminism means, and have begun striping other women of their own sense of autonomy for the sake of seeming tougher of more masculine than them.

I repeat: Feminism is not about building up walls to become rougher around the edges, it’s about knocking those walls down around others.

Think about it in these terms for a minute: This year Vogue, and similar companies, rebranded millennial pink as the color of the future. For so long we demonized femininity without realizing how it was hurting our own cause, but what better way to erase gendered norms than by allowing everyone to express gender in whatever way they see fit?

The same argument exists for allowing girls to date and take back whomever they please. Forgive me if I’m mistaken, but I’m nearly positive policing other women’s relationships and personal lives isn’t a part of the definition of feminism — in fact it actively works against it.

If feminism is about girls helping girls to have our voices heard, how does delegitimizing another woman’s romantic feelings help with that?

You’re allowed to wear pink, you’re allowed to be soft and feminine, you’re allowed to call a boy crying in the middle of the night screaming at him for cheating on you, and you’re allowed to take that same boy back.

Any real feminist will be there to support you through it all.