All of the things you so desperately wanted in the 00s in order to be the cool girl of your dreams

The 00s were, in a word, extra. Everything was glitter-covered, chunky, and blaring labels for everyone on your MySpace to see. Not everyone was blessed in this otherwise abundant time, however. Some of us had conservative moms who brutally rebuffed our requests for belly rings and Motorola RAZRs and now that we’re old enough to buy them ourselves, they’re not even cool anymore.

Alas, scroll and weep with me through the wish lists of yesteryear (play Hilary Duff’s “Coming Clean” while you read).

 

What you wanted: Chunky highlights

What you had: No highlights

 

What you wanted: Motorola RAZR

What you had: Shitty LG flip-phone

 

What you wanted: Leopard platform slides

What you had: Keds

 

What you wanted: Happy Bunny t-shirt

What you had: Paul Frank monkey t-shirt

 

What you wanted: Ripped flared jeans

What you had: Medium wash bootcuts

 

What you wanted: Abercrombie lace cami for layering, of course

What you had: Kohl’s lace tanks (not the same!!!!)

 

 

What you wanted: Sequined satchel purse

What you had: Mudd denim purse

 

What you wanted: Tie-front cardigan

What you had: Regular GAP cardigan

 

What you wanted: Goth fingerless gloves

What you got: Winter gloves

 

What you wanted: Jelly ‘sex’ bracelets

What you had: Livestrong bracelet

 

What you wanted: Tiffany & Co. necklace

What you had: A strip mall knock-off

 

What you wanted: DCs or other skater shoes

What you had: Off-brand Converse

 

What you wanted: Lancome Juicy tubes

What you had: Dessert-flavored Lip Smackers

 

What you wanted: Von Dutch trucker hat

What you had: Your city’s baseball logo hat

 

What you wanted: T-Mobile Sidekick

What you had: That same shitty LG flip-phone

 

What you wanted: True Religion jeans

What you had: Levis

 

What you wanted: iPod Mini

What you had: CD player

 

What you wanted: Puka shell necklace

What you had: Puka shell necklace