Here are all of the trends you’ll want to avoid this spring, according to a bunch of extremely average men

So don’t say they never did anything for you

Trends are a hard thing to pin down. One day bellbottoms are in fashion, and then I’m thrust into a world of mom jeans and new balance, and I don’t know what’s real anymore. Enter hordes of choker-donning youth, and suddenly I’m cast out into the wild, unsure of whether or not I ever, truly, understood fashion.

Everyone keeps telling me Heelys aren’t ‘in’, but I’m not ready to give up the dream. How can something be so fashionable one day, and simply not, the next?

That’s why this spring, I’m here to supply you with a list of ‘DON’T trends’, according to a bunch of really average men.

Here are your fashion guidelines for spring 2K17, and don’t say they never did anything for you.

DON’T wear fake eyelashes

So much glam ✨✨ @amanda.benko is simply stunning in #RWSP lashes! ??

A post shared by Elegant Lashes (@elegantlashes) on

DON’T wear shorts with your ass cheeks hanging out

Just some really great #jeanshorts #LyubovGulyak #fitnessmotivation #hotbod #fit #motivation #fitness #fitpro #toned #curves #implied #boudoir #bootyful #booty #bootymodel #bootybootybooty #bootyfordays

A post shared by K I L L R S T Y L E S (@killrstyles) on

DON’T try to look like a Kardashian

DON’T wear nose rings

#black #lipstick #gothic #nosering #piercings #hijabinstan #l4l

A post shared by زينب ? (@zeineb_dha) on

DON’T get a fake tan

DON’T excessively accessorize

when one of yo fav fans is styling you for @papermagazine it's only right that the issue is called #BreakTheRules ! so proud of you @karlie.floss ⚓️?

A post shared by badgalriri (@badgalriri) on

DON’T get tattooed eyebrows

DON’T add blonde streaks to your hair

Pretty highlights for a pretty girl☺️ thanks for letting me play with your hair! #highlights #avedacincy #blondehair #avedachicago #lanzacolor

A post shared by Isabella Sims (@maneandcolor) on

DON’T wear long, fake fingernails

DON’T shave the sides of your head

Love this Undercut @215yoga Photo By?: @215shooter

A post shared by ~SideShave~ (@sideshaveideas) on

DON’T wear high-top jeans

DON’T wear lip gloss

♡ this colour! Didn't get around to lip liner since I was too excited to try it on ? Colour Pop's Ultra Matte Lip in Notion. #colourpop #colourpopcosmetics #makeup #beauty #cosmetics #selca #selfie #asian #mua #lipgloss #ultramattelip #matte #lips #red #vampire #vibrant #lotd #nyx #maybellinefitmefoundation #manicure #swarovski #myface

A post shared by Travel | Fashion | Lifestyle ♡ (@lindarosersan) on

DON’T cake your face with too much makeup

DON’T wear wacky lipstick colors

I don't always wear bright lipstick, but when I do I'm sure to take awkward angled selfies. #stallingtostartmyshift #brightlips #longlashes #awkwardangles

A post shared by Bri Allen (@_ballenn) on

DON’T wear high heels

Legging con anagrama de @the_rotten_cherry #model @gothbae_ #highheels #anagram #goth #highheels #ootd

A post shared by TheRotten Cherry (@the_rotten_cherry) on

DON’T get tattoos

DON’T wear bangs

Mmm fresh hair, so dreamy ???? thank you @charlottepownall

A post shared by Madison Casey Kirke (@madisoncaseykirke) on

DON’T buzzcut your hair

DON’T dye your hair outrageous colors

Okay, so I hope you were all taking notes. This spring you definitely DO NOT want to look like any of these girls. And men, really! It’s cool if you just “don’t want” to date any of them.

Because I’m sure you’d be able to pull them in the first place.

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