Cosmo asked men to rate their favorite movie sex scenes, and of course they’re nearly all girl-on-girl

In a piece published by Cosmo, ten men were asked about the sex scenes in movies that tend to turn them on the most, and while I was hopeful they’d get it right for once, their answers were almost worse than I’d originally imagined.

I dream of a day when women can kiss women in public without being ogled. But what’s more, I dream of a day when creepy thirty-five year old men aren’t sitting in their sister’s basement getting off to a girl on girl sex scene in a movie it’s slightly weird they’re watching in the first place.

These were some of their top choices:

Black Swan, Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman, 2010

After Portman had been cast for her role in Black Swan, she was asked by her director if she had anyone in mind to play the role opposite her. Having been good friends with Kunis for a while, she suggested her for the role, admittedly, without having thought through the fact they were going to have to have sex.

However, she’s also on record saying she was glad in a way it was a friend by her side, because they were able to laugh about it before, during, and after. For these two, although the scene was, it wasn’t sexual — it was actually something they were quite self-conscious about.

Imagining men getting turned on by two friends just trying to get through an uncomfortable moment of filming, somehow makes it even more gross. It’s like getting off to someone having to kiss a sibling.

Wild Things, Denise Richards and Neve Campbell, 1998

According to a casting agent, Richards and Campbell were cast because “both were considered attractive but in quite different ways. Richards had the whole FHM model thing going on, while Campbell was a more vulnerable sort.”

There is already so much innate sexism involved in casting, and so it makes it creepier when men say things like, “I had the exact minute and second memorized so I could jump to the scene whenever I desired.

“I’m not sure if I pleasured myself on the first viewing, but rest assured many a seed was spilled over successive viewings!”

Mulholland Drive, Laura Harring and Naomi Watts, 2001

Harring has said of here role in the film, “There was this strong female power there — of a character who really owns her sexuality, and sensuality.”

When men belittle this scene to something porn-worthy, and say things like “I don’t remember anything that happened in the movie except that at one point Harring and Watts were in bed,” or “I definitely masturbated to this scene several times before the movie was due back,” they’re also belittling that character’s sense of self.

Sexuality should be empowering, not demeaning.

For a long time, men have glamorized the idea of female on female sex, and that is part of what makes it so hard for bisexual women, and lesbian women to be taken seriously when they talk about their relationships.

A man can’t enjoy a sex scene unless there are two females involved, or it’s violent. But this isn’t for men. A lot of female on female sex scenes actually exist in movies as a way of attempting to normalize it — not isolate it. These women’s aren’t sleeping together to turn you on — in fact I’m pretty sure they wish you’d stop watching.

@carolinephinney