BEWARE: Your ex is going to appear out of nowhere this month, and here’s why

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BEWARE: Your ex is going to appear out of nowhere this month, and here’s why

Blame it on Venus

Can I call in planetary retrograde to work? If your life — particularly with relationships — has seemed especially out of whack this month, blame it on Venus because that bitch is officially in retrograde and it’s ruining all of our lives.

When a planet is in retrograde, its energy turns inward and suppresses. Venus, of course, is in charge of love, romance, and money so this is horrible news. It’s staying retrograde until April 15, so prepare for another month of dudes not texting you back and bank overdrafts.

The retrograde brings a month of change, and it’s not always good. You’ll be tempted to hit up exes, “give things another shot” and basically do everything you know you’re not supposed to.

The worst part? This Venus retrograde will overlap the next Mercury retrograde. Why do we even bother being alive??