2017 - 2024 Tab Media Theaters keep finding cucumbers after ’50 Shades Darker’ screenings
Y’all are nasty
by Amanda Ross
In what might be the most predictable but grossest news of all time, movie theaters are discovering abandoned cucumbers left behind after ’50 Shades Darker’ screenings.
The first finding popped in an Australian theater, who posted the instrument (?) on Facebook and Twitter to a deluge of horrified comments.
Though some have called it a marketing ploy, the theater’s deputy manager told Mashable that the rogue veggie discovery was 100 percent organic (lol sorry).
A Norwegian theater made a similar unfortunate finding, also posted to Facebook (only click if you’re brave because it appears to be covered in a…substance). Unfortunately for all of us, this isn’t exactly a new phenomenon as identical incidents cropped up in screenings of the franchise’s first installment.
C’mon people, who raised you? If you’re going to jam a phallic vegetable into your assorted orifices while Dakota Johnson writhes onscreen, at least dispose of it in those handy trash bags held out by ushers afterwards.