It’s hard, but here’s why you should try to stay friends with your exes

The trick is to give yourself some time

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Let’s lay this out right now: whoever said it was necessary to hate your ex, regardless of the circumstances, was not in a place to be setting rules.

Everyone needs time to get over a relationship — that fact will never change. And bad breakups as a result of cheating, abuse or any other incredibly triggering experience typically don’t have a chance of any rekindling of friendship for good reason.

But what about the mutual parting of two people who loved each other but weren’t in love? The 4-year-long courting that ended because you were in a different place than I was, emotionally, physically, mentally? The breakups that weren’t the fault of anyone but fate?

Against all odds, I’m really not alone in this sentiment:

Your best ex is the person whom you totally could have seriously seen yourself marrying at one point, was good to you and was a great fit for you at that point in your life. For whatever reason, things didn’t work out. You wait it out and give it half a year until both of you feel ready to talk as people without any romantic bias.

Mainly, they could be a huge resource for you when you are on the path to find the one, or if you’re not looking at all. They can actually prove to be helpful and give great advice when you’re down and out, because if they were as great a person as you think they are, they want the best for you.

They have likely seen you at your worst, they know your quirks, they have (likely) literally seen you naked. Despite how much you may have changed, they know you at the core.

Keep them for you and for the investment you put into them, because even though they weren’t your soulmate, they still know your soul.