The do’s and don’ts of being a good wing woman

Target aquired


Sometimes we all need a little help in the love life department. Enter the wing woman. Not only does she have your best interest at heart, but she knows how to best get you with the person you’re interested in. This person will hence forth be referred to as the target.

There are many ways a wing woman does and does not do to help with the process of getting the #1 woman and target together. It’s a tricky task, but if done right the #1 woman will end the night successfully.

In person

Don’t be distracted

The wing woman cannot be distracted with her own agenda. It has to be established before you get to where you’re going that said person will be the wing woman.

Do know the target

It’s best to have a separate relationship with the target outside of your friend [so getting them together is more natural]. If you don’t know the person, then go and introduce yourself. Get on a friendly level so then you can introduce your new friend to your #1 woman. Badda bing badda boom. Match made.

Don’t let your friend get worked up

The most important thing is to keep your friend cool and collected, and not have them try too hard. But also as the wing woman you can’t force it. You have to let it happen through a series of interferences. Keeping it cool also involves helping them keep it in their pants – don’t let them give it up easily. Wait a period of time.

Make sure it looks like your friend is having a good time talking to other guys when they’re not with the target. This way the target thinks he’s not the only potential guy you’re looking at and tries harder.

Do know when you’ve done enough

You have to know when you’ve done enough and have to leave the rest to them. You don’t want to interfere too much. If you control too much of what they do or the conversation, then everything hinges on you. If you leave it’ll fall apart or get awkward.

If your friend has been talking to the target for a while and they both seem into it, don’t pull your friend away. You have to read the situation and adapt to the reactions that are coming out of it.

Do be the weirder one

This is key. You have to be willing to embarrass yourself. If you seem a bit off your #1 woman will seem refreshingly cool compared to you and the target will be more drawn to them. But you can’t be that awkward person that brings up that “oh you two should get together.” Don’t make it obvious. That just makes everyone awkward and painfully aware of where things might go, and that might ruin the mood.

Don’t seek out the target

Don’t let your friend attach to the target. This could appear clingy.

Don’t let your friend talk to them for too long. Pull them away in the middle of the conversation to keep the target interested in your friend.

Don’t let the target know that the whole intention of going to that party was to get with them. They can’t seem too easy or the target may lose interest and that is the last thing you want.

Don’t be the mediator

You have to kind of be the third wheel. You can’t take messages between them. You have to put them together. This isn’t middle school. You have to initiate a conversation or introduce them to each other and then just let them take over the conversation. After they seem like they’re good, make an excuse to leave so they can talk by themselves.

Do take one for the team

You have to be willing to settle for the target’s friend. It’s not the ideal situation, but you came into this knowing that you were the wing woman and this was your friend’s night. Just pray that the friend is hot and if he’s not, either take one for the team or take one for the team.

Don’t look hotter than your friend

Never look hotter than your friend. If you have bigger boobs keep those puppies under wraps. As the wing woman, you cannot attract the attention of the target. Number one rule. Your #1 woman should get all his attention. This goes back to knowing in advance who will be the wing woman. This way you can dress accordingly.

Do scope out threats

If another person comes up to talk to your friend and the target, monopolize the conversation or introduce the newcomer to someone else. The point of the night is not to make new friends or let the target gain interest in someone else. As the wing woman, you have to scope out potential threats and if they come near your friend and the target subtly steer them away.

Don’t be more drunk 

Never have more to drink than the people you’re trying to set up. You always need to be just a little more sober so if something goes haywire or you need to save the day (night), you’re good to go. Even if you’re drunk too, if you’re not as drunk as them whatever you do will most likely work.

On social media

Don’t let your friend text back right away

Don’t let your friend text back right away. Now I know this is 2016 and you’re a strong independent woman who dgaf, but even waiting a few minutes is good. Don’t go for the full four hours. That’s just ridiculous. It’s good to let the target know that your friend has a life outside of texting the target and that he’s lucky to get her time.

Don’t write your friend’s texts for her

Make sure the texts they send aren’t too clingy or lengthy, but don’t write the text for them. You want the target to keep wanting more from your friend, but you don’t want them to start to like you instead because you’re the one writing the texts for your friend.

Don’t overanalyze

Don’t over analyze the target’s texts or snapchats. Not everything is subtext and double meanings. Sometimes things are how they appear, as crazy as that might seem. Don’t instigate or let your friend wrack their brain over what “wucha up to?” means. It most likely means that the target is wondering what your friend is doing. Respond accordingly.

Don’t friend or follow all at once

Don’t let your friend friend or follow the target on all social media all at once. This is so the target doesn’t get overwhelmed or put off. If your friend waits a little bit then the target may even friend or follow her first. #goals

And that, ladies, is how you wing woman. Take notes. You’re welcome.