Why I put sex second to success

I’m either a tease or a prude and I just don’t care


Hello my name is Zena McCarthy and I am a virgin by choice.

Now, I could tell you all the reasons why I chose to be pure, like that I’m waiting for marriage because in seventh grade I put on a little silver ring on my finger and basically signed my virtue over, or that my parents want me to stay naive for as long as possible.

But no, today I’m going to tell you about the reason that came after religion and despite my parents, the reason I haven’t broken yet – success.

I am currently 19 and go to Indiana University-Bloomington, studying Accounting and Professional Sales in the Kelley School of Business. Now you might think “Why is this girl bragging about some boring degree?”

That’s because one day I want to do something with this degree. One day I want to make something of myself and change the world with my auditing and skill. Not to say that those who aren’t virgins cannot be successful, but for me, I think of sex a lot differently than most people.

I feel that it is more sacred than people make it today. I feel that it should be shared with those who are mature enough and are looking to share a life together, not just ‘some guy I met at a frat party.’

People are fleeting and only stay in your life until their purpose has been reached. It could be as short as to ask to borrow a pencil or as long as your entire life. I admit I have had my small share of guys in my life and all of them wanted sex and that’s when I knew it wasn’t going to work.

If you can’t compromise and be patient for sex, then waiting on me to reach my dreams and become the person I want to be will be inches away from impossible. I currently am not the person I want to be and that’s okay. I will be one day and that is the day I will learn to compromise for the dreams of another.

I still have dreams to dream and I am a very paranoid, driven and semi-perfectionist person. The finer details of why I put sex on hold can really be narrowed down to three reasons.

Mind my paranoia:

The ultimate mistake of early pregnancy

A child is a miracle and not a mistake, but in my book, teen pregnancy is a no no and the thought of getting pregnant at 19 makes me want to never touch a guy ever again. I am six months away from beating teen pregnancy and I couldn’t be more excited. Yes, I know there are about a billion different contraceptives available, but this does not stop my paranoia. 

Diseases

Again, I realize that contraceptives prevent most of this, but 99.9 percent is not 100 percent. Knowing my luck, I’ll be in the .1 percent and get something from some frat guy who didn’t even know they had a disease or lied to sleep with me and I’d have to explain THAT to my family doctor. Umm, can you say awks?

Being too attached to the man

On a more serious note and back to the central reason, getting too attached is a great fear of mine even without being intimate.

Guys come and go. When you are in a relationship, you are either going to last forever or break up. It’s the cold hard truth that everyone has to face and it’s what makes finding your soulmate all the more pleasing.

My problem is that if I sleep with a guy, then I am instantly going to become more attached to him – in fact it is scientifically proven that after a woman has sex with a man, she is biologically more attached to him. And to woman-kinds dismay, guys do not have this biological component and can leave a bit easier.

At this point in my life I want to have the least amount of attachment I can have without becoming a sociopath or missing my night in shining armor.

I may be overly cautious, but I know what I want. I want to be able to catch my dreams and soar without having to second guess myself with a guy and his dreams. I don’t want to end up turning down an opportunity because I’m so in love and think I would lose him over fulfilling my dreams.

If he wants me, he’ll just have to come visit me in my corner office.