Why the Kardashians would never make it in Texas

The world is busy keeping up with them, but they can’t keep up with Texas


Along with every Kardashian/Jenner fan and reality TV fanatic, I look forward to my weekly dose of Keeping Up with the Kardashians. As a firm believer in using reality TV as a primary stress reliever (seriously, it works), I have also had my fair share of doubt and confusion when it comes to the Kardashian/Jenner lifestyle.

One big question I always ask myself is: “How would this family survive in the South? Specifically, how would they make it in Texas?”

https://www.instagram.com/p/4LIVJDk1i1/?taken-by=kourtneykardash&hl=en

OMG, Bible, I swear no one in Texas talks like us

The majority of Texans probably do not use the same slogans and sayings as the Kardashian and Jenner sisters. People outside the South already think we speak in a weird way, so imagine bringing them into the mix.

Daily Instagram and Snapchat posts

Anyone who follows Khloe, Kim, Kourtney, Kendall or Kylie can expect daily Instagram photos and Snapchat updates from any one of these lovely ladies. In fact, if you were bold enough to purchase their apps (I purchased Kylie’s for a month and I’m not ashamed), then you have seen the infamous “poolside and looking perfect” photos from the sisters.

Guilty as charged

https://www.instagram.com/p/BGFZaQ_nGkV/?taken-by=kyliejenner&hl=en

One day, as I scrolled through Kylie’s Instagram, I began to wonder if all of those poolside photos would be there if she lived in Texas. After unnecessarily looking at almost every single one of her photos, I came to the conclusion that the answer to that question is “no.”

Here’s why: 1) Texas weather is so unpredictable that she would get dressed to take her photo, walk outside and it would be raining. 2) Even if it were sunny outside, she would sweat as soon as she walked outside and that, “But first, let me take a selfie” moment would be gone in a matter of seconds.

‘Is this organic?’

I will not say that it is difficult to eat healthy and organic in Texas, but it is definitely not as easy as it is in the Los Angeles area. On the show, the sisters are always going out to eat and shopping for “organic” food and other items, but as a Texan, I can say the question of “Is this organic?” isn’t asked by the majority of Texans.

Finding love in a hopeless place

It’s not impossible to find love in the Lone Star State. However, I can imagine it might prove to be extremely difficult for the Kardashian and Jenner sisters. We do not have nearly as many celebrities as they do, but we can offer some nice, eligible bachelors that can show them some good ol’ Southern hospitality.

They came to slay

https://www.instagram.com/p/BBvPVBMuS0J/?taken-by=kimkardashian&hl=en

“Slaying” is not foreign to Texas women, but I am positive we aren’t keeping up with the Kardashians when it comes to fashion, makeup and hair. Plenty of women enjoy getting dolled up, but I have never gone out shopping and then seen someone dressed like a Kardashian.

Heels are great and I love them, but the likelihood of me wearing them to every location is slim to none. Kim Kardashian’s signature fur coat look would not cut it in Texas heat, and I can only imagine what the Texas humidity would do to their hair and makeup. It’s safe to say our weather is not Kardashian or Jenner friendly.

Stereotypes

I am willing to bet a good amount of money that the moment they hopped out their private jet, we would see them dressed in their most fabulous “Southern” ensembles. I am talking boots, hats and the whole big thing.

Honestly, the Kardashian and Jenner sisters and Texas will never be besties. Despite the fact that their lifestyle can be described as over the top by many, I am positive that we are all going to be tuned in on Sundays for the drama. Forget Netflix and chill – what about reality TV and chill?