The best date you can go on is with yourself

A few weeks ago I found myself with a night off in New York City. It was a Friday and I had finally come to the end of a very long week. I was alone, yes, but I wanted to celebrate.

In the wise words of Tom Haverford – I need to “treat yo self” (or “myself?”)

Don’t get me wrong – I’ve been on plenty of amazing dates, and it’s usually quite nice to have company. But, having some time to go on a date with myself was one of the most relaxing, renewing experiences I’ve ever had, and here’s why.

I picked what I wanted to do

Compromise is a great thing. But it’s equally great to be able to do whatever you please (and that means getting to cancel events out of laziness without having to craft a creative excuse). On my night out, I decided to treat myself to a showing of The Crucible and my favorite restaurant. I’m the kind of person who worries about not choosing the most expensive meal on the menu when I’m out on a date. But, this time I ordered whatever I wanted (veggie burger, fries and milkshake here I come). It was my money being spent and my night, and I even stopped at my favorite bakery after dinner.

Before the bite- the cookie was as big as my face

I wore my favorite outfit – and made sure to smile at myself in every mirror

I honestly think I dressed better for my date night with myself than I have for dates with my boyfriend. I felt so confident in my sundress and 80s denim blouse that I had to stop and smile at myself. Not to mention – to keep myself looking fly, I stopped in Guitar Center (they had public restrooms) to fix up my makeup after dinner. It felt odd at first to be so complementing of myself, but it turned out to be a nice boost to my confidence each time I reminded myself of how gosh-darn cute I looked.

Fresh outta the Guitar Center bathroom

I found kindness in strangers

Because my restaurant reservation was for a party of one, I was seated at the bar. I’ll admit I was nervous sitting alone at the bar; it was the center of attention of the restaurant, and there I was smack dab in the middle of it, trying to quietly enjoy my food. The bartender noticed how alone I looked (though I didn’t feel alone), and started talking to me. I never got to know her name, but she was one of the funniest, most cheerful people I have ever met. By the end of my meal, I forgot I was alone, and it almost felt weird leaving the restaurant without my new friend by my side.

As I arrived at The Crucible theater, I was greeted by a lovely, middle aged couple in the seats next to me. Because my seat was on the aisle, it was clear that it was only me at the show. They quickly started chatting with me, asking about my job, why I chose to see The Crucible, and where I went to school. And because the show was three hours long and ended around 11pm, they even stopped to make sure I had a safe way home.

I was completely enamored with the kindness of the people I met and found myself tweeting this at the end of my night:

Trying to be #deep

I learned a valuable lesson in self love

On my train ride home, I was nothing short of exhausted. It may have been the three hours of Arthur Miller, but it may also have been from how hard I worked to appreciate myself that evening. I realized how quickly I fall into the pattern of putting myself down, or not taking the time to really be proud of how hard I work. It took a conscious effort to break my habit of negative thoughts- even just for the evening. I look forward to going on more dates with myself and bringing the practice of more self-love into my day to day routine.