How to keep long distance friendships alive

“Who’s that tall blonde girl over there?” A woman asked at the first Girl Scout meeting.

“She’s mine.” My dad proudly answered.

Just like that history was made and my dad met my best friend’s mom. I was lucky to meet my best friend, future maid of honor, and sister at four years old. She has been a great friend and support system for me over the last 14 years no matter how many miles are in between us.

We met in kindergarten and once my mom accepted a job across the country I had to understand that this was not goodbye, but just a see you later. Moving has always been apart of my life which means I have had lots of practice with keeping a friendship alive despite the distance. Because of all my practice I was able to maintain my relationship with my high school friends once we went to college.

Don’t forget important dates

It is very important to always think of your long distance friends on their birthday or other special holidays to show them that they are important to you. Try to go the extra mile for your friends by remembering their special days, sending them a letter through the mail, or posting an insta.

Make an effort

There is no point in putting effort into a relationship where the other person is putting in no work. When you have a friendship that is worth keeping it is important to show that person that they matter to you. Making an effort can be as simple as tagging them in a tweet they would laugh at, sending a funny Snapchat, or trying to see if your friend is available to FaceTime. It’s the little things that matter in keeping a long distance friendship alive.

Plan to visit

It is always good to go and visit your old stomping grounds and connect to your roots every few years (or sooner). The best kind of friendships are those where you go years without seeing someone and pick up right where you left off without skipping a beat.

Vacation together

Spending time together, unplugged from technology, while just enjoying each other’s company is a great way to catch up after months apart. There is nothing more comfortable than traveling the world with your best friend by your side. Exploring new places together is a great way to create new memories with your old friend.

Be accepting (and don’t be jealous) of their new friends

News flash: your best friend probably has another best friend and that is okay. You may also get along with them if your best friend does, but you may end up completely hating each other. Go into the situation with an open mind. It is important to remain respectful and civil, as well as to remember, you are both their friend. Don’t make your friend pick a side and be the bigger person your best friend knows you can be.

Make the time together count 

Having designated girls’ night when you are together is a must. Having a long distance relationship is hard and I don’t want to come home to you bringing along your boyfriend you met two weeks ago on Tinder every time I see you. When I haven’t seen you in months or even years I have no interest in seeing your new man every time we hang out. Of course, I want to meet him, get to know him, and I will probably end up liking and approving of him for you, but I don’t want him around 24/7. It is important to give each of your relationships attention, not just your romantic one.

Each friendship is different and each relationship needs a different amount of attention. It is important to show the people in your life that they matter to you despite the absence of their presence in your daily life. When you aren’t seeing  your friend everyday in class like you used to it can be hard, but if the friendship is important enough to you,  you will be able to make it work.