Rape culture is not just a ‘trending’ topic and we need to take it more seriously

Nobody ever deserves to feel lesser than the ground beneath their shoes


After I published the detailed account of my sexual assault last week, I received a lot of personal messages from friends who are also survivors: people I never knew that had experienced the violation and shame that unfortunately comes with trauma.

Most of these messages contained similar reactions and confessions, as many of these people divulged their darkest secrets to me and thanked me for “having the strength to come forward with my own experience.” Some also admitted that I was now one of the few who knew the surface of what they went through.

None of them deserved what happened in their pasts. I can’t even begin to express the heartache I had when opening their messages one by one: each sexual assault unjustifiable, unimaginable, unbelievable. To think that some of the sweetest people I had the pleasure of meeting had been attacked in an entirely selfish way made me sick. Nobody ever deserves to feel lesser than the ground beneath their shoes.

The sad truth from all of this is that survivors of sexual assault are sometimes afraid of telling their loved ones about their past traumas. They are afraid of being labeled as “damaged goods,” someone who “brought this upon him/herself.” They are afraid of people not understanding the situation and instead casting judgment upon them.

I believe that this is a result of accepting rape culture into our society.

What is rape culture?

Rape culture is accepting ‘rape’ into our vocabulary so early into our development and never seeing anything wrong with it or knowing its true meaning. Rape culture is thinking it’s okay to force yourself on someone else without consent and never apologizing for your heinous act. Rape culture is blaming the victim and not the violator.

In too many instances has rape culture played a dominant role in the lack of proper sentencing for rapists.

In a country that’s supposedly for the “freedom of all” and the “discrimination of none,” Brock Turner gets six months at most and John Enochs gets ONE DAY in prison with one-year probation.

Is the well-being of people who violate others more important than justice for those that are violated? In a more unprejudiced world, perhaps that answer would be no; however, the two cases above show that there is still more concern being demonstrated for those who destroy other people’s lives than for those who live with the insecurities, the uncertainties, the fears for the future.

I believe that rape culture is destroying the lives of many people who are either too afraid or too ashamed to say anything to people they trust, whether for the perpetrators or for themselves.

I believe that rape culture is prevalent because not everyone believes that rape culture is a real problem.

California does, and the state has officially become the first state to require teaching consent in high school.

Teaching consent in high schools and talking more openly about sexuality, I believe, will contribute to solving the rape culture problem. If more people are talking about what is and isn’t moral, then the line between sexual acts and sexual assault/rape will be more clearly defined.

Assuring the victims of trauma that what happened isn’t their fault, and that there are support lines and systems available for their recovery is also crucial for solving the rape culture problem. If victims know that it’s safe to speak about their past traumas and that they won’t receive criticism or succumb to victim-blaming, then victims will be more willing to come forward with their stories: strengthening the argument for action against rape culture. I never felt validated enough to confront my assaulter or even tell my loved ones, but now I believe that what happened to me wasn’t okay.

Rape culture is neither a problem that comes and goes with “viral” headlines, nor a phenomenon known only to college campuses; it’s one that we continue to live in and perpetuate through our own lack of action.