What does it mean to be a ‘working woman’ these days?

‘When I was young, I was always told to go work – it was expected’

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Honestly, I want to be a stay-at-home mom for a while when I’m older. But I also question if I should be taking advantage of all the rights women have gained in the workforce, and whether a full-time career outside of the home would be more reflective of that.

Women have the privilege in our day and age to work and to climb high on the corporate ladder. Our work is respected and expected compared to about 70 years ago, when it was only in 1947 that the University of Cambridge granted women full membership.

However, it also reminds me of the recent publicity on Robin Wright’s fight for equal pay as her male counterpart Kevin Spacey. Obviously, we are still fighting for wage equality in instances where we do the same work as men. We have access to education, but we still fight for equal pay. We have expanded the field of jobs we can work at, but women are also expected to be the primary homemakers even while they juggle a job.

There have been a number of women in my life who have inspired me so I asked them what having a career as a woman today means to them.

Marissa: Balance

When I first met Marissa, I had a mental dichotomy between my two life goals of having my own family and a career. Of course, I knew women who had both, but also saw that they weren’t really successful in balancing them. However, she inspired me to set high goals, and keep them. “As a recent college graduate, I have come to realize just how precious education is. I firmly believe that it is important for people to pursue their passion, and being a woman doesn’t make that reality any different,” she says.

However, she knows that the people closest to her are the first priority. “Though I saw the value in being employed, I also believed that being a mother is one of the most important jobs a woman can have if they have kids. To me, time is more valuable than money when you are investing it in the lives of other people.”

Her mother set the foundation she would follow. “My mom was fortunate enough to take a few years off from her teaching career to raise my brother and I until we were old enough for school, [but] From the time I was old enough to go to preschool, my parents both worked. When I was young, I believed women should work because that’s what my mom did, and I always looked up to her for it,” she says.

It’s really possible to have both a thriving family and a career, because I see her mom do it and I know that she will be able to follow that. You can have it all. As long as you know what you want and what it’s place in your life should be. “As a woman, I am allowed to have a profession if I want to, and that there is a lot of value in that. I think it is important for women to know that they can do anything they want to do.”

In the end, she’s taught me that you shouldn’t feel pressured to have a career or guilty for choosing your own family – it’s about setting your own unique path. “Every story is different, but by no means do I think women should feel confined by stereotypes or generic rules. Pursue your passion. Whatever that is.”

Edna: Generosity

My grandmother: She’s amazing. She’s in her 70’s and still wears heels higher than mine. Glamorous ever since I could remember, she worked a ton and took me out on the weekends when I was very young. I want her generosity to the ones she loves.

It’s interesting to see what has and has not changed. Women are CEO’s today, however, there’s still that pay gap. She told me “Women in the workforce since the 60s have changed a lot. During that time, you seldom saw women as CEO’s in a company. It was mostly men. Also, pay was lesser for women than men.”

Going to college for me, as it was for my mom, was pretty much expected of us. “[It was a] given for children to go school and then work. Parents in the Philippines at our time and even now seems that it’s their obligation to send their children to college.”

My grandma supported herself and went to school at the age of 17 – that’s hard work. “In the Philippines when we were young, parents wanted their children to have education. So, after high school, I was 15 when my dad enrolled in college. I took [a] two years course [for an] Associates in Commercial Sciences. I was 17 years old. When I got a job I enrolled in a university to pursue my Bachelors degree majoring in Marketing. I was a working student. Work from 8am-5pm then school 6am-10pm until I got married.”

She has always encouraged me to go to college. She supports me by lending me her car to help me move living arrangements, and sending me care packages full of food and cute clothes (she knows what a college girl needs). She’s taught me to work hard, and then GIVE to others what you are so fortunate to receive. Even in the 1960’s, it was all about education, but so that you can give to the people you love later.

Elvie: Fulfillment 

My mother is the bomb. She does it all – four kids, homeschooling, activities to bring them all to and also working as a manager. I want to be as dedicated to my kids as she is.

My mom was always expected to work, but she didn’t feel passionate about it. “When I was young, it was just graduate from high school, go to college, and get a job. I wasn’t taught to save anything. We were always told to go work – it was expected.”

However, today she has found that mentoring and managing is her passion, and it’s not so much about the money, as it is finding what you love to do. “When my last one [child] is done [with school], I think I can continue this. I don’t get paid that much, but I think I find this [mentoring] more fulfilling than my previous jobs.”

In the end, it’s not about following what society would typically call a “successful path” (aka, a career outside of the home) – it’s about making your own choices that will afford you balance, generosity, and fulfillment.