Post-lash is the best part of a night out

‘Post-lash’, ‘post-drinks’, ‘debrief’, ‘aftermath’. These are all potential terms used to describe the part of a night out which takes place after the club.

Having fun at the club is a cliché, a given. Every night out is invariably the same. What happens afterwards is often the true mark of a successful evening on the tiles. It doesn’t require planning like an after party, its spontaneous, organic and will always be different. Post-lash really is the best part of a night out and here’s why:

Food

Everyone loves food. And everyone loves food even more when they’re drunk. The food that is usually bought by revellers stumbling home under lamplight is, under sober scrutiny, utter garbage but the post lash here has its advantages. At 3am after a Wednesday with the sports team your cheesey chips taste like a Heston Blumenthal sensation, but wouldn’t even dignify a look if you were anything less than leglessly drunk.

But more importantly, you’ve earned it. You’ve laughed, you’ve cried, you’ve danced, you’ve sweated. Maybe you’ve bled, maybe you’ve pulled and now you’re going to devour that kebab/burger/pizza/chips/all of those because by God you’re unstoppable.

Clubs really need to start serving their own food. It’s not like they’d get messier than they already do.

Underlying significance

If you’re having a post-lash, it’s because you’ve all had fun. Not just fun, but the right amount of fun. You haven’t passed out at pre drinks, you haven’t spent the night fruitlessly chasing the object of your desires only to go home alone and spend the rest of your night crying into your pillow, and you haven’t spent too long in the club and burned out. You’ve gone home with some pals who are as game as you to keep having fun. You’ve pitched your alcohol consumption perfectly over the course of the evening, and regardless of how the next day looks with regards to work/contact hours/deadlines, you couldn’t care less at this particular moment.

It means you have friends 

It’s just nice, isn’t it? you’ve had a nice time with people who are nice to you and you’re nice to them and everyone’s having a nice time. How nice.

I am friends with these girls I promise

Fun in the comfort of your own home

You know where everyone is, no one is going to run off and desert you in your own house. It’s nice and quiet (if you want it to be, there can be music if you so desire). It’s not interchangeably pitch black and then very bright courtesy of epilepsy inducing strobes. A multicoloured disco light extravaganza can become very tiresome. You’re probably just on your favourite sofa, singing yourself to sleep.

Crazy shenanigans!!!

Maybe you’ll go to sleep in someone else’s bed (BANTER), maybe on the sofa (WOAH) maybe on the floor (MADMAN). Perhaps you’ll put on Adele’s latest album and just start crying for no particular reason. The truth is, no one really knows what might happen and hopefully you’ll be too hungover to remember.

Does that multicoloured hat have rotors on it?! STOP THIS BEHAVIOUR THIS GUY IS TOO MUCH FUN

None of this matters and we drink to forget the tedium

You’re only staying awake because if you go to sleep that means you’ll wake up and it’ll be a new day with all the worries and problems that it brings. Stay awake, keep drinking, fend off the darkness of your existence for just a few more minutes. You went on a night out in York, you don’t need to pretend you enjoyed it. You’re now basking in the warm, comforting glow of the post-lash. No matter what drama went down last night, this can all be forgotten after a few balloons. You’re safe now. And if you’re lucky, BabeStation might still be on.