There is a special place reserved in hell for those who eat in exams

Exam time is something that can only be described as hell. It is a hell that has come to be known by mostly every university student. Despite this consensus, there is a certain breed of student dedicated to making your life even worse during this crucial time. You know the type.

They’re the Nature Valley Bar wielding, fruit basket carrying, ham sandwich worshipping devils who show off the contents of their recent Morrison’s shop in your Contract law paper. As a disclaimer, I’m not talking about the people with health complications that actually need to bring food with them.

It wont make you do any better in your exam

‘Almonds and walnuts help you destress and give you loads of brain power.’ People who eat in exams, claiming it will improve their performance, are the worst. I don’t see how eating a single almond is automatically going to improve your performance in this exam. You are already pretty rich in vitamin stupid, so I think that’s enough for now.

How do you have time to eat?

I’m not sure about you, but when I have a 3 hour time slot to answer 4 horrific essay questions, I’m not really thinking about how great it would be to tuck into my sandwich. All I can think about is what the hell I’m going to write, and how the hell I’m going to finish the paper on time, as well as somehow scrape a 2:1 because my coursework was utter shite.

Frankly, most of you are being pretty unrealistic (and quite over ambitious) when you bring your bananas and oranges into the exam hall. Bring in your pencil case and water, and let that be it.

Just eat before

There’s a time and a place for your lunch, and an exam really doesn’t fulfil either of these criteria.

Your exam timetables usually give you time for lunch, so just have your food before – it isn’t hard.

It’s exceptionally selfish

It isn’t just your irritating chewing and crunching sound that is the problem. That is pretty brief (but nonetheless unnecessary).

But the major problem is when your food seriously fucking stinks. An exam hall is already really stuffy and gross, without having to be forced to deal with the lingering smell of your cheese and onion crisps or your egg mayo sandwich.

An exam is not the time for your skinny latte either

You’re guaranteed a 2:1 in being an annoying dickhead

It’s basic exam etiquette. We’re all in the same shitty, stressful moment: just try to respect everyone.

Invest your time in something more useful aka revising

If you spent as much time learning your Tort law flashcards than researching the food pyramid to success, you’d probably have half a chance at passing.