What is the worst thing you have ever done in a club?

‘I projectile vomited in a bartender’s face’


We’ve all seen and done some pretty shocking things on nights out, but we ventured to find the most obscene and shameless stories straight from the people.

Angus Paton, first year, Law

“Once I pissed into a cup in a club and told my friend it was a white wine spritzer- he downed it.”

Jemma Driscoll, first year Business and Marketing

“The Cha-Cha Slide came on in a club and when the time came to ‘slide to the left’ I gave it a bit too much gusto, slipped on a puddle of alcohol and took out a girl on crutches.”

Anonymous, second year, English Language

“I went to a foam party in Spain and the foam literally came up to my shoulders, I started getting with a girl and fingered her, shielded by the wall of bubbles.”

Charlotte Ward, first year, Dance

“I went out with my friends for my birthday and they all got me a row of 5 shots as a present, I did them all and projectile vomited in the bartenders face.”

Danny Butlin, first year, Accounting and Finance

“My friend was DJing in a club one night and he stupidly let me behind the decks, I got a bit overwhelmed by all the dials, turned the volume all the way up and blew the speakers at 11:30pm.”

Alex Sinclair, foundation Science

“I was in OMG and the DJ was giving the audience challenges to win a free pint (get a cigarette from someone in the crowd etc.), the last one was to find a naked person- someone dragged an old man on stage who proceeded to strip fully naked and dance for the crowd.”

Alfie Renwick, first year, Business Team Entrepreneurship

“I went to the toilet in a club, I got into the cubicle when a group of girls came into the toilet, it suddenly dawned on me that I was in the wrong toilet so thought I would wait for them to leave- they were in the toilet for half an hour and when I finally got out all my friends had gone home.”

Anonymous, third year, Photography

“Once I got a blowjob standing in the middle of a staircase in a club, in plain view of everyone in there.”

Reuben Nash, second year, Journalism 

The vomit spread this far

“In Motion I once saw a guy projectile vomit into his own hand, the vomit then sprayed to the sides onto two girls. As they slowly recovered from the shock and the horror surrounding the incident, he pegged it outside through the crowd. They never caught him. Their wavey garms probably never looked the same again.”

 

Charlie Arden-Brown, first year, Business Management

“Once I was in a club and I thought a girl was giving me the eye from across the room, I went over and tried to make a move but her girlfriend slapped me round the face.”