Everything that will happen during a night of regret at Illusions, Sunderland

‘I’m not drinking much mind’


Formerly known as Passion, who can forget the days 50p drinks on a Monday. 5op for a vodka and lemonade – you can’t even get a bag of crisps for that. You’d have a cracking night off a fiver but the council were concerned about binge drinking and soon scrapped the idea.

Unfortunately, like all good things we like in this life the prices went up that’s not to stay you still can’t have a good time at Illusions. Probably Sunderland’s most favourite night club here’s everything you can experience at a night in Illusions.

Love me Mondays

The best night to go out a Monday. The weekend is over, you’re back at work/uni and you’ve had a pretty bad, know what will solve that? A night out. not just any night out for Love Me Monday’s offer a selection of £1 drinks all night long, get yourself on the guest list or show your student ID and you’ll get in cheaper. No excuses not to go out now.

On the dance floor 

The biggest mistake is getting to the club far too early and seeing about three people on the dance floor busting some moves more embarrassing than The Inbetweeners. As the night picks up the dance floor isn’t just a place for dancing. All sorts will happen on that dance floor from dozens of empty plastic cups to some weirdo trying to pull your drunk mate. You’ll go absolutely mental knocking out some shapes when you and your squad hear your tune. The moment that everyone waits for is when the DJ calls you all forward for the big photo.

Group Photos on entry

It’s an absolute must that after you and your mates have paid your way you get a group photo. Make sure to check the photo after it’s been took as you need the full squad looking fresh because there’s always going to be someone that lets the squad down because they’re blinking in the photo. It’s also not enough just to get one group photo so get the photographer to act like the paparazzi and get several photos of you and your squad. You’ll be half cut by this point so you’ll think you look fabulous however when you check the club photos of Facebook the day afterwards you’ll soon realise how wrong you were.

Heart to hearts in the toilet

The girls toilets on a night out is a place that doesn’t exist outside of the club. We are all really nice to each other instantly becoming bestie and having a really deep heartfelt conversation with each other. So although you’ve only just met Louise 10 minutes ago you’ve gone from comforting her through her recent break up with ASBO boyfriend Rob to taking mirror selfies together in the toilets. You know this would never happen in the real world so you cherish the moments you’ve had in the toilets with all those lovely girls and you’ll often think I wonder how so and so is I met in Illusions toilets that time what a canny lass she was.

Playing mother hen

Playing mother to one of your pals because they’ve got absolutely smashed and are now incapable of functioning as a normal human adult. You are to take on the role of a care worker and mind the intoxicated individual as they’ve lost their money, their phone is hanging out their pocket at arms length from being nicked and they’re demanding more drink, you’re in for a long night. You’re now wondering if pound drinks are such a good idea because it’s now down to you to keep an eye on you’re mate for the rest of the night and make sure they don’t end up in an even bigger state but let’s face you’re at Illusions of course they will.

Takeaway time

When you’ve all had enough at the end of the night the only way to finish is with food to help soak up all that alcohol you’ve consumed. With Subway right opposite the club it’s the quickest option and a meatball marinara at three in the morning when you’re mortal never tasted so good. However if looking for a more greasier option Chilino’s it is for a large kebab and garlic sauce. Job’s a golden.

Final stop is home to pass out until 12 the next day wishing the night before had never happened.