Nudity and champagne: What it’s like to work a St Andrews ball

Welly is not for the fainthearted


Since most of us were too drunk to remember, we asked one of Kinkell’s bar staff to fill us in on the bits we may have missed.

This is the first St Andrews ball you’ve ever worked at, did it live up to expectations?

Yes and no. I was expecting complete debauchery and to be honest I was a little disappointed. Yes, it was wild, but tamer than I expected. I’m used to Glasgow nights out, they’re on another level! The dinner also wasn’t as grand as I expected for this kind of price tag.

What was the funniest thing you overheard?

This guy trying to buy a jeroboam of champagne said: “I’m paying for it on this card because daddy pays it off”… The card was then rejected.

What was the most expensive round ordered at the bar?

There were quite a few of the infamous jeroboams of champagne, which I had never even heard of before this event. I can’t remember how much the most expensive round was, but let’s just say it was definitely more than I earned to serve it (and to clean up after it!).

What was the grossest thing you saw?

Well, I saw both nipple and vagina. Yes, some girl clearly thought that having her vag out all night was more attractive than VPL. I can confirm, it is not. Neither is having one boob hanging out your dress. Can’t believe nobody told her.

Were any guests rude to you?

Yes, quite a few. The worst was a guy shouting at me because I asked him to pay for the shots he had just consumed. He remarked that I was ‘just bitter’ because I was ‘working class’ so I had to serve him instead of attending myself. Turns out the stereotype exists. Most people were totally fine though!

Did you wish that you were on the other side of the bar?

Honestly no. It looked like people were having a great time, but that might just have been because they were absolutely steaming. It was a messy night. Also, there was a disproportionately large number of arseholes, it was pretty ridiculous.

Finally, would you do it again?

Actually yes, I would. Mainly because I need the money. But actually it wasn’t that horrendous. And hopefully people will read this and it might encourage them to be nicer to event staff in the future (or maybe not, considering I just called them arseholes).

 

Photo courtesy of Lightbox Creative St Andrews