Southampton to LEAVE Russell Group


SOUTHAMPTON University has announced that it will leave the Russell Group in favour of a recently-formed partnership with Greenwich, Reading, Aberystwyth, Newcastle and Trent Universities.

The new alliance of this ‘GRANTS’ group has been created for the purposes of country-wide unity and a desire to enhance both ongoing research and the student learning experience.

As part of the development, students from the six Universities will receive unprecedented access to each member’s facilities, and opportunities will be created for students wishing to further their research skills to spend a sabbatical year at a different establishment.

A particular area of focus for GRANTS academics will be Astrology, and each University from the partnership will contribute to financing research into planetary motion, beginning with Uranus.

A spokesperson from Southampton commented:

This is a very exciting endeavour. The joining of these six diverse establishments is a unique and challenging venture, which will no doubt serve to benefit all parties involved. Southampton University prides itself on cutting-edge research and innovative thinking and as part of the GRANTs group; we aim to continue to change the world for future generations of creative, perceptive and inspired thinkers’.

The official launch of the partnership is due to take place later this month, until which time further details of the scheme remain Strictly Confidential.  More on this story as it unfolds.

Let us know what you think about the change in the comments below. 

  • Adam

    Trololololololololololol.

  • Elizabeth Coates

    Hahahaha nice one!

  • reading

    SOTON would be lucky to join with Reading. A much better Uni that Southampton for MOST subjects..

    • writing

      i am argree you why donot the SOTON tabs SHUT UP about reading university (NOT POLLY).

    • Barry

      I compleetly agree, i wnt 2 reading nd cme here 2 do my masters. I dnt fink its fair dat soton tab pick on reading cuz its gud uni. i wnt ther and i no im inteligent so stop it.

      • Mark Jeffs

        reading is not a uni studpid, its waht yhoo do with bhooks

  • Orange Leader

    This is bullshit!

  • Nige

    April 1st suggest anything to anyone …..especially needing to start with “Uranus”. Hey ho it’s the spaghetti trees all over again

    • Christopher Gutteridge

      Oh, you bastards. I actually felt my stomach churn until I saw the date on the article. Nicely played, and I like the way the story gets more silly as you go on so that it’s obviously a joke by the end. I’m just shocked some of our students can’t spot a troll this blatent.

  • nigel millington

    Pleased to see Reading working to improve opportunities for students. A Reading alumnus in 1971 ( microbiologist), I ”ve seen that it is still strong on biological sciences and has strong links and research with the food industry. It would be good if the grant Unies could capitalise on this.

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