Everything you’ll wear to a 9am

The hungover look

He was actually hung-over in this picture

Most often seen on a Tuesday or Thursday morning after one of the infamous campus nights out. You’ve picked comfort over anything else, which is probably a good thing considering you can only just manage not to bring up last night’s VKs on your lecturer. You promise yourself to never again go out before a 9am, but you’re there next week in the same pair of unwashed trackies. You never learn.

The prepared

I will only ever look this prepared at around 3pm

A colour coordinated outfit and a full face of make up. You are aware this is 9am and that you’re a student, right? How did you manage this sorcery? You must have woken up at 6am because I can’t make myself look even remotely presentable at 8. You’ve sacrificed sleep for presentation and I’m more than a little bit jealous at how awake you look.

The ‘gym go-er’

Got a spin class later, honest

You’ve strolled up in your Nike Pros and Just Do It leggings. You want the world around you to know that you love cardio and just beat your PB squat. But secretly you binge-watched eight episodes of Pretty Little Liars and finished off a large Domino’s last night just like the rest of us. Don’t worry, your Netflix secret is safe with me.

The actual sports

It’s 9am on a Wednesday and you have a match to run off to straight after you’ve finished learning about the French Revolution. You don’t care about the poor lad behind you who you’ve accidentally hit with your lacrosse stick. The clatter of your football boots shouldn’t bother everyone around you. You tell everyone you see, “I have a firsts rugby match today… did I mention I’m in the firsts?”

The workers

You’ve dragged yourself to the 9am in your work clothes ready for your shift straight after. You have three essays due but you still have to work 18 hours a week in order to afford the luxury of eating. You have a sense of authority in knowing that you pay your own way through Uni; however, this is quickly demolished by your inner jealousy of anyone that gets an allowance from daddy. “I hate any of you who can afford a take away.”

The hipster

We’re vegetarian and we’re allowed to say it

Nothing you own was made after the 80s and you’re 100 per cent vintage. If you’re hard-core you will be repping a “no food with a face” badge that you also donned for the anti-global warming protest you went to at the weekend. You are more than ready to show your entire row the new Mandela tattoo you got on Sunday, because it’s so totes original.

The lads

Often found in groups, all equipped with the exact same short back and sides hair cut. Do you all go to the same barbers? Some in jeans, some in sports clothes with the occasional gilet thrown in – why do people still wear these? Prepare to hear about last night’s antics – this group often collides with the ‘hungover look’ people and they’re ready to tell you all about how many times they got kicked out of the SU last night. You guys are so cool.

Some of us will be prepared for our 9am’s. Most of us won’t. Keep rocking the hangover look, RoHo.