Here’s every type of person you’ll find in your RoHo group chat

During the first year of university everyone unwillingly enters several group chats. By second term people slowly begin to “exit” these chats. But the  one that will stay strong includes your main social group, which consists of a cringey group name followed by several emoji’s and a forever changing mugshot as the icon, which is of course intended to insult and can result in some pretty dramatic exits. This chat holds a world of secrets, bitching, and sexual innuendos with each member unconsciously playing a role.

The ghost

That one member of the chat you forget exists. Do not underestimate this creature: in actual fact this person silently gathers information to one day pop up with some deep cutting comment that makes you re-evaluate your life. This member is so quiet that on occasions you become close to slagging them off before you suddenly remember that they are actually still a member. At this point you begin to rethink about what you share here…until a day or two passes whereby their existence is again forgotten.

The one who can’t keep up

Then there’s the one who’s constantly confused as to what’s going on because they “can’t keep up”. Their messages consist of “What?, Who? and Why?” – this person annoys everyone. You don’t want to be this person.

The sexually frustrated one

They randomly pop up with a dirty joke or a suggestive comment which makes you question their judgement. Nevertheless, this person is always a good member to keep hold of for the bants.

The meme sender

There’s always one person who sends a random meme completely irrelevant to the conversation which totally fucks up the system. No one is listening to what you’re saying anymore, but they’re instead intrigued as to why there is a magpie smoking a fucking cigarette on your screen. This person provides an occasional laugh, but more than anything  they cause so much confusion. Why were you looking at pictures of magpies? Why did you think this would be worthy of the chat? Who took this photo? Did the magpie have a bad day? No one knows.

The bitch

Okay they’re not really a bitch but they have a sassy attitude that comes with no fear to insult. These members create tension on very few occasions, it’s mostly laughs. Occasionally friendships are lost as result of their sharp tongue, but they’re just telling the truth, right?

The drunk

Everyone becomes the drunk at least once in a lifetime. Not the drunk who sends loving messages because they’re intoxicated, but the persistent drunk who will relentlessly suggest a few quiet drinks…or a bottle. In this case memes are often used to add tension and persuasion, this comes with the occasional shot (Jaeger, literally) of success, followed by interesting anecdotes the next day.

The additional member

Then there is the trial run of the additional member. This is the period where an additional friend is added to the chat and it can be a little awkward to begin with. The trial run becomes semi-permanent until someone says something that there is no retracting from and so the additional member is quickly removed. Don’t be this person.