Everything going to Plymouth has taught us

All the essentials and more

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As another year at Plymouth draws to a close, it’s important to think about what this great place teaches you. It’s a lot more than you’d realised…

Sleeping with a housemate is ALWAYS a bad idea, it never ever ends well so don’t even think about it, a drunken kiss is the limit

I’m not speaking from personal experience, but i’ve seen others make this mistake, and it has gone horribly wrong. Realistically you’ve known them for a week, they aren’t your soul mate and you’re going to be living with them for at least another six months. Just think about that next time it’s just you two in the kitchen.

Sleeping with your friend’s housemates is another awful idea, because just popping over for a coffee leads to an awkward hello and the mutual friend giving you ‘that’ face

Yeah it’s funny if you’re that friend, but pre drinks become a little strange, and so does the game never have I ever… Lets avoid this situation completely by staying clear.

If you live in Gillwell, you will be seen as a second class citizen 

It’s sad but it’s true, if you’re a fresher you’ll know the stigma towards Gillwell, it’s been referred to as a ‘prison’ and ‘worse than living on the streets.’ I’m pretty sure a lot of them sleep around just so they don’t have to stay in the four walls that Plymouth uni’s accommodation office considers to be a ‘room.’

Don’t fall asleep in the kitchen

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Don’t even bother asking for water at Caffeine Club

After a night out, Caffeine Club is not somewhere you want to go if you want to be hydrated. Their pathetic excuse for water in, yep, a CONE, is barely a mouthful and i’m pretty sure must break some sort of human rights, surely?

Marjon is not considered a University

I’ll leave it at that.

YikYak will be your best friend when you’re on the toilet

Being on YikYak allows you to post anonymously to the community around you, it’s perfect to scroll through when you’re on the loo, but sometime you may find yourself in there for a lot longer than anticipated.

If you haven’t had to wait in a queue outside Jakes at 4am, then are you really a Plymouth uni student? 

Jakes is tradition to so many freshers. The cheap cheesy chips and even fatter bastard has taken down many, either way it’s too be seen pretty soon afterwards in the toilet bowl.

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Avoid taking home a Janner or anyone in the Navy

This must apply to every uni, but locals are a no go and so are the Navy. A lot of them are attractive, but a lot of them do not like students and are pretty damn scary, just steer clear I’d say.

If you’re like me and you never have cash, you’ll always buy two drinks instead of one at the SU because you don’t want want to pay that 75p card charge

At the SU you have to spend over £4.01 to pay on card or you occur an evil 75p card charge, and to us students thats almost a shot. Just run to the cash point or simply splash out on a jaeger.

Your housemates will most likely LOVE Oceana’s disco room, and most Monday nights will be spent singing S Club 7  

We’ve all been there, and we all love to hate it. The cheesy childhood tunes combined with an 80’s dance floor is what makes everyone happy on a Monday night, until you wake up the next morning with Mr Brightside on repeat inside your head.

Walkabout Wednesdays will consist of you holding an orange VK in a cup, being painted yellow as a netball girl disguised as minion runs past you, and queuing half the night to get to the smoking area

The controversial move from simple VK bottles to now decanting them into cups wasn’t welcomed with warm arms. Once upon a time we could order four VKs, strawpedo one and be able to hold the other three with no stress. But now, holding one and getting back through the crowd is a struggle, if you make it through without half of it down you, it’s an absolute miracle.

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Heroes clubbing, like no other. Photo credit: Jay Stone Photography

Cuba is full of desperate drunks who haven’t pulled, looking for their next victim, avoid at all costs

We all have one friend who we have lost to a girl/boy in the early hours on Cuba’s dance floor.  They always stumble back the next day with a serious look of regret and one awful hangover from one too many tequilas.

There’s a big difference between those who choose Cuba and those who choose Bang-Bang

I’m not sure why, but there are some people who are seriously loyal to Bang-Bang, I mean, yes Cuba is grimy but, isn’t that why we love it so much?

The Hub is where no one speaks to you unless they want some chewing gum, a sip of your water or to tell you they like your Adidas jacket

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Photo credit: Benedict Priddy

House. Garage. Techno. If you’re heading to the hub stack up on Airwaves and a bottle of Ice Mountain’s finest. But on the plus side, refills are free.

If there’s even a hint of sunshine you’re guaranteed to see someone in shorts and flip-flops

It’s Plymouth, and a lot of the boys here think we are on a beach in Bali. Why? I’m not sure. We all enjoy a cheeky day in flip-flops, but when you run risk of frostbite in the wind and pouring rain… is it really worth it?

If you go to the Hoe and don’t snapchat it, then did you really go?

If it’s sunny and you don’t go to the hoe then you take your degree way to seriously. Either that or you’re happy watching the repetitive snapchats of Smeaton’s Tower with the caption “Plymouth is so pretty.”

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Despite all of these Plymouth cliches, it is an awesome place to come to uni, which is why I’m very excited but pretty sad that it will soon be my final year here.

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