Three Lessons Of The Week

1. Think before you get it out

So May Day came and went last week, and with thousands surrounding Magdalen tower at 6am, it seems Oxford does a pompous early morning ceremony in memory of a 1^st century hooker like no other town.

One observation – it seems the idiocy-du-jour  of clubbers currently is whenever a big song comes on to immediately get their phones out, for the sake of thirty seconds of grainy footage to put on social media and show to all the world that you went clubbing.

The one instantly forgettable photo I took on May Day at 6am

This treats us to a sea of iPhones in the crowd, drawing everyone’s attention away from the point of being there (the music, atmosphere) and towards the people Shazam-ing their way through the night.

There’s a long, thoughtful article to be written here about why some young people feel that every piece of fun they have must be experienced through apps like Instagram or Snapchat, but I’m not going to patronise you by writing it.

2. Satire is alive and well in student journalism

Readers of the Oxford Student this past week were treated to 600 words on the question ‘does the Union makes (sic) a positive contribution to the life of the average Oxford student?’. In proposition was the venerable Chris Starkey, a recent Union librarian/treasurer/mover-of-chairs (I haven’t checked his role).

In amongst the exhilarating and moving wordplay, he states that “far from being cliquey and old-fashioned, the Union is open and reflective of modern society.”

I challenge any of my three readers to walk into a Union debate, see the white bow-ties, carnations and jolly back-patting, and keep a straight face while re-reading the above quote.

3. O wise one! O fair one!

Enjoy the glow

Another tremendous man piping up this week was Our Dear Leader David J. Townsend, the OUSU president and general Thames Valley inspiration. He appeared in last week’s Cherwell’s ‘BNOC’s Bookshelves’ section where he revealed to us finally the personal library that makes him such an intellectual heavyweight.

The whole of Oxford had I’m sure been waiting with bated breath for weeks to find out what his favourite book is, and he reveals it is Kim by Rudyard Kipling, for he says that characters Kim (a poor orphan) and the Tibetan monk Lama “are the two sides of me!”.

He also thinks that ‘The Most Impressive Book’ is the University of Oxford: Financial Statements of the Colleges given “I used to help common room presidents in rent negotiation”.

Let us all take a moment to bask in the heroism and depth of this brave young man.