Why I’ll only date boys from Trent

If you want a boring guy who’s going to get a boring job working as a banker then the University of Nottingham’s selection, or rather lack of selection of decent men is absolutely ideal.

However if you are a lady looking for a fellow maverick, a character, or just a downtown boy then always, ALWAYS, opt for a guy from Trent.

The problem with our lads is that the selection is so repetitive. Everyone is from a fancy part of London (or pretending to be), many have come from privately educated backgrounds, which is fine, but it means that lots of them have turned out so similarly that there’s little to distinguish one from the other despite there literally being thousands of them.

Just look at how they dress. The UoN straight male starter pack consists of Adidas trackies, some kind of Nike Air shoe, A North Face puffer jacket and usually an overpriced Macbook Air. Go onto University Park and this look is inescapable. They’re all clones of each other. Where is the individuality? Where is the substance?

They usually turn up to freshers’ week sporting their finest chinos, then they discover their inner ‘edginess’, which in reality isn’t really edgy at all if everyone else wears the same thing.

They’re all the same

A Trent guy could be anyone, they offer the mystery of the unknown. From the sheer variety of courses available at Trent they usually tend to be creatively inclined and range from the sporty meathead to the sweetly introverted arty guy. There’s an actual sense of individualism with guys at this university even if there are plenty of them who equally suck, they’re not just a husk of a human being like many Notts boys.

The fact is that we go to a pretty prestigious university that attracts many guys from well educated, middle class backgrounds who exclusively hang out with other middle class people. They are the most boring human beings on the planet . They have no real definitive tales of woe that are comparative to that of working class man. Of course you can never judge a book by its cover, and just because you can afford a comfortable life doesn’t mean you don’t also have your own shit going on, but it certainly decreases the likelihood.

Bet they’re both from London

Trying to find a fellow working class person with a definitive accent at UoN is like trying to find a needle in a haystack, it’s a rarity. At Trent they are plentiful, and come in a variety of wonderful exotic accents such as Scouse, Mancunian and even a rare Geordie. And let’s face it, working class people are so much more interesting.

But I’m not alone thinking this. So many of friends have said stuff like “they sound friendlier, I associate them with the friendly places they’re from, they stand out.”

Even though they might ultimately go to a shittier university and might not necessarily be as hard working as most of the uni of boys, guys at Trent make up for it with bags of personality and plenty of variety in who they actually are as individuals which is a far cry from the commonly found Nottingham fuckboi.