Final year habits we shouldn’t be ashamed of

There are some things we all do and ask ourselves whether we are normal. Of course you are, a big lot of normals united in a fight against dissertation planning.

Logging freshers off the only free computer

Move over, fresher, you don’t need to print those lecture slides out right now and you certainly don’t need to head on down to Basement to get yourself a snack whilst doing it.

There are no computers left, floor one is full of BNOCs being loud and trying to show off, I’ve got 7000 words to write in a month and a dissertation devil on my shoulder so no, just eat your Freddo and leave, I’m logging you the f off.

Oops

Going to uni in your gym clothes

Even if you’re not planning on going to the gym today, this week, or even this month, why dirty one of only five wearable outfits to sit in a sweaty lecture theatre, surrounded by snoring students and a lecturer who is wearing tights with Velcro sandals, for a feeble hour out of my day?

And anyway, you could decide to actually go the gym after a long stint in the library. You know, if you think a work out is what you deserve after a long day bossing out this assignment.

Sorry not sorry

Giving yourself the day off because “it’s been a long week”

Ok so it’s Tuesday… but honestly, there’s only one more year left of my life where I can sort of get away with getting back into bed and hiding away from my responsibilities. Soon we’ll be in the real world and there’s no time to hide away from responsibilities then, so consider this as a time-out for Future You.

Go back to sleep. Don’t go to the lecture. You can catch up on Blackboard later. Future You will remember this moment when they’re pulling their hair out in a mad stress, and it will probably make them feel better about their 9-5 job, their broken water pipe and sky high electricity bill.

Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow

Scheduling when to shower in the calendar

Sometimes, it can get a bit hard to remember when to do what when you’re trying to balance thousands of deadlines (or like, three), a gym membership, a part-time BAE, a hectic social life (having friends can be tough), a need for sleep and your rota’d household chores.

Writing a to-do list can be useful in organising which time slot best suits which activity, and yes, sometimes allocating a time to shower can help you to de-stress in knowing that you’re getting everything done, and you’re going to be all squeaky clean whilst doing it. It’s not as bizarre as it sounds.

So sad

Having a FOMO

£1800 into our overdrafts, bags under our eyes, assignments weighing on our mind… the last thing we want is to spend £2 on doubles in Bar Blanc, right? You don’t want to go out, you’ve done it almost every night for two years!

You definitely can’t be arsed to get dressed and a night in by yourself doing assignments in your room whilst your friends hit Oz Road really wouldn’t be that bad would it? Except… it would. So even though you’re as povvo as it gets and your eyes can barely stay open, you pull on an outfit (the same one you wore last week), down a vodka and climb in that taxi, simply because you cannot miss a night out.

Must…go…out

Or having a FOGO (Fear Of Going Out)

And that’s ok too. Making it to one bar and deciding you’ve had enough by 1am is just as easy. What’s the point in just standing in a circle, bopping your head, being pushed over by slut-dropping Freshers in House Of Smith? Does anyone enjoy that?

Your days throwing shapes to Temperature by Sean Paul have been exhausted and honestly, you’re not as young as you once were, so it’s not boring to want to sack it all off for some chips and gravy in bed before passing out.

“None of us want to be here”

Feeling excited to go home to a clean house

After you’ve lived in squalor for almost three years, it becomes normal for it to feel like a luxury when you walk around your own kitchen at home wearing no shoes or even socks!!! How magical, that on this floor, there are absolutely no crumbs, no spillages or sharp, dangerous objects.

Do a handstand. No, wait, do a headstand. You can do a headstand and you will be safe and clean afterwards. It’s an absolute miracle.

Napping to avoid hunger

There’s nothing in my belly nothing in the cupboards and nothing in my purse except a few receipts, a Guestlist card and some coppers. . Three very common problems. The solution to these problems? Nap it off. How about a big bowl of Sleep for your dinner, with some Zzzs for dessert?

Good for you, gives you energy, revitalises your brain – and it’s all for free. Just don’t tell your Grandma, you know how she likes to make sure you get your seventeen meals a day.

*Sniff*

Still only drinking to get drunk

You might be third year but some things never change.

So you napped away your hunger and also gave yourself a head start for the night out. After all, if you’ve not eaten anything, those trebles are going to hit you harder than the £6 (you thought this was once a bargain) that you spent buying them.

Whoever says trebles taste nice is lying. Nobody enjoys trebles. We enjoy what comes after trebles!!! – but not what comes after that (I’m looking at all you drunk-vommers out there). And that £5 bottle of wine from Wetherspoons? It’s hardly going to be enjoyable with the name Private Bin, but you’ll drink it anyway, because, well it’s 12%.