I lived off baby food for a week

I felt like I was eating worms


It may not be the most conventional diet, but in a desperate effort to fight the freshers 15 I wanted to relive my childhood years and eat nothing but baby food.

Before doing this horrible diet I weighed 10.03 stone and was praying that the weight-loss results would make eating what looked like sludgey vomit somewhat tolerant. All I can say is unless you’re a baby, don’t do it. There is a reason why you have to convince a baby that the spoon is an aeroplane.

Day 1

Initially it wasn’t too bad, until I read the “recommended amount” of baby food you were supposed to consume  on the diet before eating your one allotted solid meal of the day. Fourteen 65-calorie pots of baby food, and I struggled to eat one in the morning. The mush looked like vomit but I was convinced I was going to do it. Even after all my friends tried to convince me otherwise.

The worst bit had to be the fact I had to go out on the toon surviving on baby food alone.

Day 2

I finally clicked that you could actually eat the baby food warm after my flatmate filled me in on this thing called a microwave.

After warming it, it tasted less sludgey and more like a warm slop of pre chewed food. I still couldn’t deal with the fact that you didn’t chew it and tried to chew it anyway. I’ve never been so excited to see solid food in the evening.

Day 3 

I stayed in bed until two because I literally couldn’t move and was so exhausted even the beautiful prospect of cheesy pasta baby food couldn’t lure me out of bed.

I don’t even want to know why it has tiny million-like balls in. At this point the fact that I was eating baby food didn’t bother me any more – I was more concerned on how I could eat it quickly without noticing.

Day 4

I had even less energy and yet again found myself moping around the flat. I also learn’t that shepherd’s pie baby food actually kind of tastes like the real human equivalent  (besides the fact it was pure slop).

Day 5

I started to become more inventive on how I ate my baby food and started mixing mains and vegetables, it tasted somewhat like a bad soup.

Day 6

Turns out that baby food fruit puree isn’t much better than main food and the fact that it was 65 calories didn’t make it any better.

Day 7

Excited to have finally finished my diet I went to the weighing house to hope that all the mush I had consumed in the past week had been worth it.

I had only lost two pounds. I lost more weight doing the school musical.

Never have I ever been so excited to see a burger in my life.

So the moral of this diet is don’t do it. It’s not worth it.