Leazes freshers officially BANNED from taking hospital shortcut

Shortcutting Leazes freshers have been officially banned from walking through Newcastle hospital.

For everyone at Leazes, the quickest way into town, and some parts of campus, is down Richardson Road, and through the sneaky cut-through of the RVI’s car park, coming out opposite the Armstrong building.

But now the hospital has put up MDF and metal fences over the access points into the car park.

The gaps in the fences are made by temporary MDF gates – that can only be opened with a hospital staff access card.

Dramatic signs also read “authorised personnel only”.

Memories..

First of all, they started with threatening, but completely ignored, signs stating “no public thoroughfare” and “staff access only”.

These were read with a frown, and ignored.

Then, then came the moveable steel-mesh fences.

These were given a shove, and freshers slipped through the gaps – quite literally.

But now, Leazes’ residents are truly stumped. The Hospital has placed fixed MDF and metal fences over the access points into the car park.

The gaps in the fences are made by temporary MDF gates – that can only be opened with a hospital staff access card.

No one is quite sure whether this was used before this year, or whether the new Leazes’ lot are all orienteering entrepreneurs.

Either way, the beloved passage was a crucial extra five minutes in bed for a lot of first years.

Now it’s causing a lot of grief to poor freshers at Castle Leazes.

Angry Fred Bradshaw, first year student at Leazes said: “It adds on at least three extra minutes to our journey which is fucking grim.

“It makes no difference to them and it was a nice route. I’m finding it very strenuous mentally and physically.”

Lucy Thornton, also a first year student at Leazes said: “I have had to forgo every single lecture as a result of this because I cannot make them in time – I cannot walk another 25 metres a day.”

The first attempt at warding off freshers

Secondary defences are put in place

You shall not pass

LEMME IN!!!!

So far, all breakthrough attempts have failed. It’s a nightmare. Please send aid.