How accurate is Fresh Meat as a depiction of Manchester student life?

Being a student at the University of Manchester: surely there is nothing in this world that could replicate an experience so ethereal, or is there?

One Mr Jack Whitehall attempted to do so when he set out on his sitcom venture Fresh Meat in 2011. But just how accurate is Fresh Meat as a representation of Manchester student life?

This assessment is an academic adventure which I have enjoyed embarking upon. Otherwise referred to as a valid excuse to binge watch something a series for the fifth time.

Awkward freshers interactions
“I like tea and coffee, so…”

No one quite prepares you for those terrible first encounters with your flat mates. Standing around awkwardly in Squirrels blindly panicking about what to ask next after “Where are you from?” and “What do you study?”, but the programme conveys this pretty well.

When you get ill for the first time without your mum

“DON’T LEAVE ME, I CALLED MY MUM BUT SHE’S SEEING SOME GUY CALLED LEON, SO I CALLED MY DAD BECAUSE I HAVE A FEVER BUT I FORGOT THAT HE’S DEAD.”

No one can deny they captured perfectly the moment when you’re first ill without someone to make you soup and wrap you in a blanket. Being ill at uni feels like social suicide, you have never missed your mum or your dog this much.

Fallowfield Drinking Scene

They perfectly embodied in one particular episode our efforts to describe the hideousness of two bottles of New Zealand Wines for £6. I genuinely once got a rosé that was brown.

Freshers’ Fair

“No wonder there’s a recession on with all these companies giving away this many free pens”.

Don’t try and tell me this wasn’t the main reason we all went to the freshers fair. Well, that and free Dominoes.

Living in Halls

“I’ve got pasta, chickpeas and half a tube of salt and vinegar pringles”.

Yep. This is our weekly struggle of digging for breakfast when you can’t be bothered to haul yourself the two minutes to Sainsbury’s. Why isn’t OP isn’t catered at weekends?

“Breakfast is not a social event. It’s just about getting it in. It’s just the opposite of shitting”.

Oh too accurate. The OP breakfast hall, or even the kitchen in your second year house for that matter, is not a social place in the AM. There is a mutual unspoken agreement that words should not be shared over breakfast. Breakfast is for eating and then going back to bed.

Pres

They’ve missed a trick here. Why are they going for pres in a bar that isn’t Squirrels or Spoons? I mean come on now, let’s be realistic, those are the only financially viable options.

In Manchester it’s extremely rare that you would ever have pre drinks anywhere except someone’s common room or kitchen. And if we are planning on branching out, we probably won’t go further than Squirrels.

Homeware

Can you spot the problem with this one?

That, my friends, is a box of Kleenex. THEY’RE NOT EVEN LIDL’S OWN BRAND. And a coffee strainer, salt and pepper grinders? We are Manchester students not the youths of the aristocracy! And let’s face it, for those students who do have a bit of extra cash, they’re more likely to spend it on a 10 bag.

Societies

“Last week we did vodka shots out of a shuttlecock”

“Shuttlecocks have holes in them!”

“Exactly, cause that’s how fucking mad we are”.

They’ve got the sports socials pretty much spot on. But here in manc we take things a bit further than shots out of shuttlecocks…

They also get it right when they know that it’s still weird seeing a lecturer not being lecture-y at the society pub quiz.

“We need to change courses, just move to drama!”

Housing

Hold up. There aren’t student houses like this in Fallowfield. That’s Didsbury. Very, very Didsbury. Where are the overflowing bins and graffiti? The sick on the pavement, and sofa in the front garden? They haven’t done their research properly on this one.

Housemates

We definitely all have our very own Paul Lamb the Invisible Man. We communicated with him once via note when he nicked one of the kitchen chairs.

No one has any idea what course he does or where he’s from, but he always seems to be awake in his room when we get back from nights out.

JP would have actually become really edgy at Manchester uni

Perhaps it was because he didn’t make it into halls, and therefore missed out on the epic Tree Court transformation from Jack Wills to second hand sportswear that occurs within a few weeks amongst the elite in Owens Park.

However, it seems unlikely that he would have missed out on this trend pulsing through Fallowfield. And with all that money, he could have gone mad in Afflecks Palace, spending £60 on a jacket that looks a tenner.

What they missed out

When it comes down to it, they make one fatal error. They don’t mention Antwerp anywhere. How else would they have discovered their Manc vibes and shown off their wavey garms? Vod would have fitted right in, and Oregon would have tried to.

In fact they don’t really go out at all. They spend a lot of time in shitty pubs and getting stoned at home and although this is a pretty accurate representation of general student life, it doesn’t represent Manchester. What about WHP, and the rest of the eclectic nightlife that our city has to offer?

They also failed to mention the hero of our time, Paz the Kebab King. He plays a pivotal role in every fresher’s induction into life in Manchester, and it wouldn’t be the same without him.

They never mention The Tab

You may deny it, but we all know you read it. And you definitely all speak about it. If this show were truly realistic, Oregon would be raving about how she made it onto campus style, Kingsley would be anonymously commenting on an article about the NUS restrictions and JP would be sharing a home counties feature all over his Facebook.