Best of YikYak: Revision edition
The very best of procrastination
Laura FitzPatrickLet’s paint a picture – there’s no seats left in the library, conversation doesn’t go much further than a groan and it’s highly possible you’ve not slept in a few days thanks to Modafinil.
It’s exam season and rather than being good girls and boys and making notes our tutors would be proud of, we spend our time doing anything and everything to procrastinate.
At the top of the food chain of procrastinators sits a rare breed, a species that deserves full marks in every exam they sit, the hilarious heroes that get the most upvotes on YikYak.
To keep the procrastination going, we’ve compiled the best of exam YikYaks.
Everything will be alright if I spend my life in Blue
I mean, sure
Plenty more library baes
Don’t forget the lube
Take your revision and your screen get out of my life
Sorry, I’m not fluent in exam
Who wants a degree when you can have dogs?
Question number two
At least you look cute
It’s getting intimate
Does that make it sexy?
One sentence = one cigarette
May the odds be ever in your favour
Student protest after Manchester Pro-Life Society held ‘grill the pro-lifer’ talk on campus
Lucas AnnisonThe CEO of the Alliance of Pro-life, Madeline Page, spoke to students at the university last week
The Manchester Tab wants you: Apply to be part of the 2024-2025 Editorial team
Rebecca MurphyApplications close on Friday 26th April
Inquest opened into death of ‘very vulnerable’ Manchester student killed by convicted rapist
Tributes were made to Elizabeth McCann who was murdered by Simon Goold in August 2022
‘Terrified’ student watched as mouse ran around Manchester Metropolitan University library
Francesca EkeThe rodent was seen on the first floor of the All Saints Library on Saturday
New report exposes widening ethnicity and disability pay gap at University of Manchester
The number of BAME staff decreased in 2023 and disability pay gaps increased to 16.1 per cent and 10.3 per cent
Manchester police officer cleared of rape allegation against 20-year-old student in her home
James Darnton was found not guilty of the allegation that occurred in 2009
Mouse spotted running around inside University of Manchester library building
Footage shows the rodent scuttling around the Alan Gilbert Learning Commons
Manchester student suspended for occupation in protest of university links to Israel
Molly WilkinsonThe student’s suspension bans any presence on campus except for academic or welfare purposes
Manchester police officer accused of raping student in her home after she rang for help
The 20-year-old student had called police after her ex threatened to post naked photos of her online
University of Manchester bans applications from London students because their ‘vibes are off’
A leaked email sent to staff explained that the ban will come in place from September 2024
Manchester pro-life students were reportedly ‘spat on’ and told they ‘should be r*ped’
Society members were allegedly subjected to a ‘torrent of abuse’ at last week’s Stop Manchester Pro Life protest
Manchester police received ‘training’ after dragging and standing on sleeping homeless man
The officer’s behaviour has been branded as ‘dehumanising’ and ‘unacceptable’
‘Insulting’ trigger warning in Uni of Manchester lecture around buying a round of drinks
The sociology lecture included two warnings and links to helplines for students that found the topic distressing
‘I love the atmosphere’: Asking Manchester students what they love most about the city
Anil PaudelThe Manchester Tab spoke to undergrad and postgrad students about why they chose the 0161 for their studies
Fight broke out between students at protest against Uni of Manchester Pro-Life society
Students gathered outside the Students’ Union protesting against a Pro-Life society event held last night
University of Manchester Pro-Life Society recruits two new female committee members
The society had previously received criticism for being made up of just two men
A definitive ranking of Manchester’s club smoking areas from worst to best
Melissa TaglioneJust let us smoke inside again, please
University of Manchester received the most applications out of the Russell Group in 2024
It is sometimes hard to see why when you’re traipsing to uni on the 142 in the rain…
‘It’s just backwards thinking’: Manchester students on new SU approved pro-life society
‘Abolishing the ability for young people to choose how their life unfolds shouldn’t be encouraged’
The five best places for students to spend Valentine’s Day this year in Manchester
You don’t need a partner to celebrate today – grab some of your housemates and have a fun night out!
Tori has finally spilled what her friendship status is now with the other MAFS Australia girls
Harrison Brocklehurst‘What those girls did to me was not friendship’
Emily Smith
Madeleine complains that her MAFS Australia edit made her look like a ‘batsh*t crazy b*tch’
The psychic medium said that producers ‘pushed on a relationship topic that she didn’t want to go into’
MAFS Australia bride says groom broke up with her ‘out of the blue’ and won’t reply to her
‘He won’t reply to me. He hasn’t replied’
A body language expert says Jack and Tori are lying about having sex on MAFS Australia
‘Do I think they had proper sex? No’
Everything Eden and Jayden have been up to since their messy run on MAFS Australia
Apparently they broke up FOUR TIMES after filming finished
This is why everyone thinks Taylor Swift’s song thanK you aIMee is about Kim Kardashian
The title literally spells out KIM!!
All the savage Matty Healy lyrics Taylor Swift sings on The Tortured Poets Department
‘They shake their heads and say God help her when I tell them he’s my man’
Richard Gadd speaks about how similar Baby Reindeer’s Martha actually is to his real stalker
Phoebe KowhaiShe did actually send him over 41,071 emails and leave 350 hours of voicemails
Student at £43,000 a year private school ‘smashed the skulls’ of two students with hammer
The 17-year-old also tried to kill a teacher in ‘horrific attack’
Ellie Ring
What have Timothy and Lucinda been up to since their MAFS Australia 2024 homestay fight?
They’re still besties!
Here’s where to watch Richard Gadd next if you’re obsessed with Netflix’s Baby Reindeer
He’s in a police show with Stephen Graham!
Digs at Davide to Lorraine Kelly drama: What Ekin-Su has been up to since Celeb Big Brother
Iona MacRobertShe’s been in the headlines a lot lately
After their tense homestay, are Jack and Tori still together after MAFS Australia 2024?
I need answers immediately
Yikes! A snippet of Taylor Swift’s new album has allegedly leaked and people are SLATING it
‘We declared Charlie Puth should be a bigger artist’ is an actual lyric
Inside the life of Walton Goggins, the Fallout ghoul everyone is weirdly crushing on
Lily ColdstreamYes, it’s possible to thirst after a man who looks like a carved pumpkin
What has Andrea been up to since leaving MAFS Australia 2024 with her head held high?
She’s living her best life
Love Island’s Zach goes on huge rant about girls ‘wearing nothing’ and ‘selling themselves’
‘People really out here selling themselves for some views/likes’
So, here’s the real reason why Martha calls Donny Baby Reindeer
The show is named after the pet name Martha actually called him in real life