How not to dress for a night out in your hometown
Those wavey uni garms don’t belong here
With the summer holiday in full swing, we all have to suffer the same troubling dilemma: What do you wear for a night out in your hometown? Back home, your collection of wavey garms are unappreciated by the locals, who don’t know the difference between bucket hats and beanies and you’re left wondering what you can wear to help you fit in.
Figuring out how to tone down your vibesy wardrobe and end up with a night-out outfit even hometown mainstreamers will understand is tricky. Don’t make these mistakes.
Without a doubt, the 90s kid raver jacket was a hit at uni all year. This outfit screams sass and multiple waves. Sourced directly from Brick Lane, you can be assured no one else will duplicate your style.
Coupled with an Adidas t-shirt of lily pad and floral designs you convey vibrant individuality with confidence and your blue jeans paired with Nike Lunarglide trainers give you the ultimate edge over the crowd. You literally bounce with the base.
The hometown scene just don’t understand though. Away from the house nights at your uni, the prized Puma jacket becomes a possession of ridicule and your Adidas T-shirt is mocked by groups in Topshop knee-slit jeans and jelly sandles. Orange faces joke you’re wearing a PE kit. Despite your level of style transcending the hometown scene, you’re the one left isolated at the bar, clutching your Urban Outfitters hip-flask.
Standing in your shiny pink sparkling dress, you feel like a true princess. Correction, you ARE the princess of wavey garms. Paired with pink suede Reeboks and the funky 90s Aztec jacket, this outfit is perfect for going from lectures straight to the club. Yet once, again your hometown chums just don’t understand. Until you tone down those garms, a night out with the home crew might be a thing of the past. Just remember – it’s them not you.
Now for the game changer: the oriental garm. Handmade to perfection, this will attract attention on any uni night out. Worn with a black crop top and Cath Kidston clock skirt, your onlookers are lost in the display of complex patterns. Every boundary pushed, you strive for more edge. The patent black Dr Martens, inspired by Amelie, emphasise the combination of delicacy with bold impressionism.
However, the hometown locals mistake your statement jacket for a gap year souvenir. They don’t understand no full moon party was attended in the process of creating this look. Unless you want to receive questions about your non-existent gap year to South East Asia, it’s probably best to call it a night in this attire.
You know summer term has arrived when you can whip out the dungarees. Recommended with a casual vest underneath and Salvation Army style Hawaiian shirt on top, throw on some classic Reeboks to complete the sassy chic appeal. While your hometown squad might appreciate the one piece though, the vintage shirt and beanie prove a step too far.
The pleated skirt is most definitely a TING. After all, dressing in a promiscuous manner is so Year Ten. Wavey garms speak louder than words. The black crop-top emblazoned with “unavailable” is a must-have accessory for any seedy sports social and after a quick visit to Sports Direct you emerge with a pair of black Slazengers. Some of your uni comrades might argue you went too far with the footwear but you know the most outrageous outfit wins. Rejected from the hometown club, you find solace in the fact your Ellesse bucket hat shelters you from the rain. These New Balance basic bitches just don’t understand.
One outfit you can wear
This is how to simultaneously maintain your uni edge and assimilate with the hometown crowd on a night out: double denim. Add a pair of black and white brogues (remember to rise above the bowling shoe jokes) with a blue high collar vest. You avoid ridicule among hometown peers while upholding your undeniable edge. May the hometown antics begin.