Which LSU night is the best?

We are notorious for having the best student union in the country for several years running, as not only does it hold a number of events for us throughout the year, it also contains the best nightclub that Looga has to offer.

But which night is the best?

Stuesdays

If you haven’t been to a single Stupid Tuesday yet then you’re doing the whole student thing completely wrong. With a miniscule £1.99 entry, even cheaper drinks and cheesy pop music from the past couple of decades – it’s enough to make anyone go a little stupid. In a good way. Stuesdays isn’t about pulling or showing off those sick moves you acquired at that one taster during give-it-a-go week. Instead, it’s about belting out the words to I Believe In a Thing Called Love with your mate who can’t walk in a straight line and trying not to crush someone’s feet as you dance to Gangnam Style.

It’s about seeing who can strawpedo their VK the quickest and downing Sours shots until your teeth feel a bit grim. Sure, Stuesdays isn’t as big or intense as Hey Ewe or FND, but that’s kind of the point. It’s the one night you can dress down and get a little crazy without anybody batting an eyelid, so swap your heels for flats, your vodka and coke for a £5 cocktail bucket, and stumble to the dancefloor with a squeal when you hear the familiar opening tune to The Killers’ Mr. Brightside.

Hey Ewe

Hey Ewe is a little wilder than Stupid Tuesday. It’s the night when Luff’s various sports teams descend upon LSU for a mad one. Won a match? Drink. Lost a match? Drink. Don’t even like sport? Who cares? Just drink. This is the night societies and teams try to outdo each other, and there’s a 99 per cent chance you’ll see a sweaty rugby player dressed in a costume or a bin bag. In fact, if you’re not in some kind of fancy dress you’re the odd one out. And probably not part of a team.

If you do go out in fancy dress, expect to go home missing a few accessories or items of clothing. And expect to be covered in some colourful body paint that you didn’t leave your block in. Room 1 is where it’s at. There’s a strong possibility you’ll end up with makeup smeared across your face because you got in the way of a UV paint cannon. If you’re short, you’ll almost certainly find yourself drowning in the foam. But you’ll be too smashed to care about how you look and will have a great night. Thursday will be spent asking, “Do you remember doing that?”

FND

The only way for a Looga student to finish off a busy week of napping and Netflix is, of course, FND. Okay, so there are other clubs in town, but everything’s expensive and nobody you know will be there. Why? Because they’re all at FND. Everyone. Even that blockmate that never leaves his room. You’re guaranteed to have a drunk conversation in the Piazza with somebody you barely know. Entry might be a little steep, and the length of the queue enough to make you want to call it a night, but stick it out. It’s always worth it.

FND is the night where you can actually put a little effort into your appearance. Heels you can barely walk in are a must. It’s the night you can judge someone by their choice of club and don’t mind drinking your weight in Jägerbombs. You’ll probably get hit on by a lad in a button-up shirt, or have a girl tell you she wishes she could afford another drink. Room 1 usually has some pretty sick guest performers and goes all out with dance tracks and strobe lighting. You’ll probably spend most of the night in here. Or looking for your friends. At 3am, when your feet hurt and your mate can’t stand up, you’ll stagger outside and head straight to Papa Si’s truck, where there’s a good chance one of you will ask:“What can I get for £1.35?”