What does your society say about you?

You come to university in the hope of becoming someone, yet you feel completely lost because your flatmates don’t have the same interests as you.

You venture to the SU during Freshers for the societies fair, and become swamped with the amount of options you have to choose from. Do you join the Darts Society and become a beer guzzling pub-goer, or do you opt for the Yoga society to find inner tranquillity? It says a lot about you.

Labour Society

Chances are you smoke roll-up fags and love Corduroy. Jeremy Corbyn has become your style icon, so you’ve chosen to adopt the hippie look by only washing once every four days and growing a beard that looks like it’s made out of barbed wire.

Your favourite colour is red, and you have a poster of either Gorbachev or Che Guevara in your bedroom. You love vintage clothing, but only if it smells every so slightly of BO and Chablis.

When you were 13 and discovering the political world, you decided you change your initials to N.H.S to show your solidarity with our national health service.

Pole Fitness

These guys show us that pole dancing is worth much more than it’s erotic reputation.  Yes, swivelling around a pole in short shorts and a tank top can get the heart rate going in more ways than one, but they also show us that pole is an extreme work out.

This society is for those that are in great shape, or have high hopes of getting there. With moves like the ‘butterfly’, ‘dragon’ and the ‘basket’ Pole Fitness is a way to test your core strength, flexibility and pace while learning some pretty interesting manoeuvres in the process.

If you don’t have a chiselled set of abs when you arrive, you’ll definitely have one by the time these guys are finished with you as you’ll burn months worth of Papa Si’s away in one session.

Cross fit

If you’re a member of this tightly toned society you’re probably one of the fittest students on campus. This muscle bulging group of masochists really enjoys the burn.

To join this society you’ve got to be dedicated to the fitness cause because you’re certainly not joining it for the cool reputation. You also have to own a minimum of five pairs of Neon Nikes.

When you can tell your external abdominal oblique from your serratus anterior muscle, then you might just be ready. If you live for the summer and the suns out guns out lifestyle then this club is for you because brains are important but big biceps are importanter.

Yoga Society

Until you joined the Yoga Society you were a pretty normal person. But now, you’ve changed your name to Ocean Breeze, you’ve gone vegan, and you only wear vegan footwear.

Chances are you’re incredibly good looking, with glowing tanned skin and long golden hair as you spend your holidays volunteering in Mumbai in the hope that you get to see your spirit animal: the elephant.

These people have a great sex life because they can bend into any position imaginable. For them, the Karma Sutra is easy and effortless. For most of us who can’t even manage a forward roll, these yoga enthusiasts are god amongst men.

DJ Society

In summer you went to your first music festival that wasn’t Reading or Glastonbury. You took some pink, powdered substance that your best friend Hugo bought you before you lost your mates who went to buy their third bottle of water. You stumbled into the Dance Tent and heard house music for the first time.

You feel like a Machiavellian music prodigy as you go back to your Surrey home and beg your parents to lend you some money so you can buy a set of decks, which you insist on taking everywhere with you, showing your mates how good you are at remixing Shadow Child’s music.

You come to uni and find several other people who found themselves at European festivals, before realising they were DJ EZ and Hannah Wants reincarnated. You decide to create the DJ Society where you all compare your Reebok Classics, between mixing Benton and drinking this bev you discovered over the holidays called Red Stripe.

Wine and Cheese Society

In November these new kids on the block nabbed the title, ‘Society of the month’. Loughborough Wine & Cheese society shows us that the student palette isn’t as one-dimensional as people like to believe.

They cater to the more refined side of student life; you might be downing VK’s on a Friday night, but others settle down with a nice cheese board and a few bottles of merlot from time to time and Luff Wine & Cheese have spotted this gap in the market.

Don’t be too quick to label them as the Barnaby’s & Hugo’s of campus, but do bring your tote bag to carry back copious amounts of cheese from their trips to wine and cheese festivals.

If you’re partial to a bit of Brie, or find yourself  reflecting on your favourite cheese then this society might be the one for you.

Darts

This is a society for the real top blokes on campus. If you can do your 17 times tables after 12 pints then you might just be the man for the job.

These are the types of people that consume sausage rolls by the kilo, and that get their neighbour Gladys to wax their back before a big competition up in Blackpool.

If you’re talented enough to become a member you’re more than likely to be a connoisseur of the Tetley smooth. Don’t underestimate this skilled bunch of mini-javelin throwers though because they can spear a pound coin from eight feet.

Disney Society

The Disney society are among the most animated characters on campus. They relish the Fusion dance floor, where you can catch them on a Stuesday, singing along to the Frozen soundtrack.

They are the society that can’t let go of their childhood, and the type of people whose beds are so overcrowded with cuddly toys that their one night stands have to sleep on the floor after having sex on top of Minnie Mouse and Simba.

They are united by their love for Disney films, reflected through their movie night socials but also, in true Disney spirit they are quite the humanitarians. Disney Soc participate in RAG raids, action projects and various other charitable causes throughout the year.

They have hearts of gold, so even if you can’t stand their extremely happy and vibrant personalities, allow them to have their moment on the dance floor.

Clay pigeon

If your name is Arthur, Mungo or Beatrice then the clay pigeon society wants you. But lets not be silly you’re probably already a member.

If Daddy doesn’t mind you taking his prized Rizzini 12 gauge out then why not get yourself down to break some clays. To become a member of this club you’ll need your best Balmoral tweed and shotgun certificate, but if not it’s a short train ride over to Shottingham where you can purchase the finest of guns.

The type of society where you make those necessary connections to land you a grad job as an Investment Banker, whilst talking about how you named your poodle after Margaret Thatcher.