Bunch of rankers: UCL rated dismal 12th best uni in country

The Guardian University League Table 2016 was released yesterday and sees UCL falling to a paltry 12th in the country behind the likes of red-brick heavy weights Surrey (4th) and Lancaster (10th).

This blow comes after we missed the top ten spot by one last year.

The paper publishes its results in one overall category and 53 sub-categories, and the scoring is based on criteria like student-satisfaction, spending per student and student teacher ratio.

11 universities are better than this one supposedly

Unsurprisingly, Cambridge top the list, followed by Oxford, but St. Andrews come in behind them prior to Surrey who have surged ahead to academic superiority from their position of 6th last year.

Once again, student satisfaction appears to have taken a damning role in our piss-poor result with a score of 61.8 in the satisfied with feedback category, the worst in the top 20 universities except for Edinburgh (20th).

Nonetheless, despite being at a worse university than your mate at Surrey, UCL came out on top of KCL, who came a dismal 36th place.

In fact we’re second in London behind only Imperial College where nerds will be crying in to their conical flasks following their equally disappointing 8th place finish.

The top 25

The subject categories proved more successful in some places however, with a win for the Archaeology, Architecture and Art departments – the alphabetical link is interesting but seemingly coincidental -and a bronze medal for the medics.

Anthropology, Urban Planning and Earth & Marine sciences picked up second place in their respective tables.

Overall, the result is certainly disappointing for a University that is ranked 5th in the world by QS, perhaps you’ll have to continue recycling their statistic to grandparents and bartenders for another year.