UCL’s Chundergraduates

Everyone knows that the Godless of Gower Street, love a good pint. Finally, we gained some formal recognition of this and were ranked the 9th best drinkers in the country.

The survey, conducted by Student Beans, found that UCL students drink on average 23.1 units per week, (and probably at least double that on Sports Night). That’s a massive 12.1 units more than Robert Gordon University, languishing at the bottom of the list.

Taking the top spot was Queen’s University Belfast, where students on average down 27.3 units a week. Perhaps it’s time that their medical school put some more funding into liver disease.

UCL’s standing is perhaps even more impressive given the high price of a pint in London, with a good deal of the drinks in question presumably being guzzled in Moonies or ULU on a Friday night.

Coming an embarrassing 56th was Imperial College London presumably damaged by not being able to take drinks into the library. The Strand Poly clearly aren’t taking advantage of their amazing Union Bar, reaching a lowly 66th in the league. We may be the Godless Scum, but perhaps they could do with a reminder that Jesus was the one turning water into wine, not Jeremy Bentham.

Despite UCLU’s increasing concern over UCL’s new Master Plan, we think they can sleepy easy tonight: after this impressive ranking we’re sure Phineas, in all it’s overheated, sticky-floored glory, is here to stay.