Sorry Concert Square, the reign of heels on a night out is over

By this point in your degree, you probably know more about the economic consequences of the Cold War than you ever dreamed of knowing and you’ve most probably mastered the art of banging out 2000 words the night before a deadline. The one thing you’re still in denial about, however, is the inconvenience of your fave heels on a night out. Yes, they make you look hella fierce but they’re also hella impracticable. You’re at that point in your life now where you should be saying goodbye to any mild inconveniences, so fuck your heels and throw on those kicks.

Even though you promised yourself, your mum, your boss and your liver that you’d cut down on the booze, your mate convinced you (in 30 seconds) to do “One Last Juicy” before deadline season. You look bomb in your heels, but by 4am, you’ve been dancing for a solid 3 hours without so much as a thought to your poor feet. However, the minute you stumble into the smoking area, you’re suddenly alerted to the terrible pain radiating from your ankles down. Yup, shoulda worn trainers instead! There’s no chance you can keep those shoes on for a minute longer, so you face a dilemma: either ditch the heels and go barefoot down Bold Street for some late night chicken, or end the night early and hop in an Uber home alone. It’s as you stand cold and miserable, regretting your life choices, that you wished you’d ditched the heels at pres in favour of a more practical shoe – the humble trainer.

We’ve now established that anything with a heel is a no-go from now on – those strappy numbers just aren’t cut out for Liverpool’s cobbled streets. So where do you go from here? You could always dig out those ballet pumps you got in last year’s Topshop sale, but they just don’t feel like you anymore. Sure, maybe as a fresher you’d grace the 699 with them after a night out, but 2017 is not the year of the pump. There’s probably a reason why your ballet pumps have been exiled to the back of your wardrobe, and maybe that’s where they should stay. Your mind will then turn to your ever-growing trainer collection, usually reserved solely for daytime attire. Don’t overlook it. You can walk around campus for hours feeling like you’re walking on marshmallows, surely you should stumble around in your evening wear feeling the same?

Whether they’re a vintage bargain you found in a charity shop, or some squeaky clean Puma Fenty’s you spent January’s student loan on, trainers are your new clubbing BFF. The truth of the matter is that you make better life decisions when you’re wearing trainers. No more tripping over in the club toilets, falling down stairs and ending up barefoot. The Adidas wearer in you is calm and collected, only very occasionally falling over from copious amounts of alcohol, but able to bounce straight back up again one your padded soles. If you choose your old Stan Smith’s, there’s a zero percent chance you’ll have to take them off before the night is through. What’s more? 2017 fashion trends dictate that trainers can literally be paired with any outfit. From a casual drink at the Font in jeans and nice tee to your glam squad reunion by the docks, trainers go with everything from denim to leather.

So, do your feet and your fashion sense a favour and ditch the heels once and for all. It’s got to the point now where most of your mates will all be on board the trainers boat, and you can thank yourself for making the right choice as you pity those who are yet to repent for their heel-wearing ways.