Why everyone should date a Scouser

The Northerners of England are united by their passion for alcohol and relaxed mindsets. They neutralise the fast-paced, sober South of the country.

But since moving to university, you might have come across a new breed of Northerner. A breed that call themselves “Scouse”. And they’re brilliant.

You need to start dating a Scouser NOW.

They’ll often boost your self esteem

You’ll get a charming little nickname like “hun” or “babe”, and they’ll remind you of your new petname at the end of every sentence.

It’s endearing.

A typical scouse screenshot

They’ll play hard to get

They can be pretty hard to please, so they tend to look unimpressed. By everything. But it does mean they’ll keep you on your toes, and when you finally get something right you’ll definitely know about it.

It’ll take a lot to impress these prinnies

Your sly mate on the prowl won’t nab them

That accent of theirs makes them quite hard to understand, and it can be a right effort to decode. But on the plus side, it will probably put off your mate on heat from trying to chat them up.

You’ll feel better about your own accent and city

You just will. I mean, look at Smithdown.

Because this ONLY happens in Liverpool

They know how to make a good brow

They are definitely on point with their eyebrows, and they’ve shown the nation the way. You’ll never have to worry about your brow game again.

Sorry, I meant brew*

The best brew from JMU

You’ll never have to lend a Scouser your jacket

Outwear does not exist on the Scouse dress-code as they are immune to the English weather. Take them on a night out and you can definitely keep your own jacket in the bitter wind and rain.

Scousers love cheesy chips

Cheesy chips & gravy? Even better. Scousers love their grub.

Forget about trying scouse… try this

They are down to earth

Equipped with sensitive bullshit detectors and rowdy attitudes, a Scouser will never let you become too pretentious.

Your parents will love them

Their guttural accents disguise their excessive use of swear words and common term, “like” (pronounced – likghhh).

They’re easy to get revenge on

Mention the words LFC & they’ll go ballistic. Everyone knows real scousers support Everton.

Football rivalry even ruins Christmas

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