Do we really need celeb-themed nights to have fun?

We’ve had Justin Bieber Appreciation Society, Beyoncé night is next, and then there’s Kanye Fest. Is this really what 21st century clubbing has come to?

What else will there be, One Direction night? I hope not. If so there’s only one direction I’ll be going in – out the door.

It’s not even as if these worldwide celebrities will be clubbing with you. I can’t imagine Beyoncé being drunk in love in some dingy SU club with sticky floors, although I’m sure she would love a cheap VK.

If you’re that desperate to “meet” your favourite celeb, Justin Bieber Appreciation Society (AKA money-grabbing club promoters) wanted to charge £1,306 for a meet and greet with a cardboard cut-out. Seriously?

A fucking what?

These artists don’t deserve a whole night dedicated to their music. They’re not that brilliant. I doubt they even have enough music for a whole night’s worth of “entertainment”. Oh wait – they definitely don’t.

You have to deal with other artists, not just the one of the event you’re going to. So basically, it’s just any other club night – and therefore basically pointless.

That’s not Beyoncé

No rational Uni student should even consider going to these nights. They sound more like the underage club nights organised by your sixth form college where prizes were won for best Usher dance routine. Come on guys, let’s be sensible and avoid themed discos more suited to pre-pubescent teenage girls.

Is this the new edgy? Forget wavy garms and house music in abandoned warehouses. Crop tops, stupid hairstyles, hair jewellery and late-noughties pop music is suddenly in – even though I can’t imagine the majority of the student population of Leeds, Bristol and Manchester shifting from shell suits to a leotard and dancing to Single Ladies.

I do accept that JB has dropped some absolute bangers over the past few months, but none worthy of a dedicated club night. As for the self-proclaimed “greatest living rockstar in the world”, he definitely doesn’t need the ego boost.

He’ll think Kanye Fest is the club night of year. I can guarantee it won’t be.