The week I became a lesbian


ELLIE CLARKE gets intimate with Leeds' lesbian scene

It’s a golden rule that you have to mess around with your sexuality at university. A drunken kiss with a flat mate or spooning with one of the lads all counts but it has to be done.

So this week I decided to get over the prejudice and get under some girls.

I wanted to start talking to the LGBT society so they could help me out with great gay nights (the thought of going to the “Backdoor Disco” and “Homo at Mission” alone was making me feel very nervous.) Apparently though this was “A sensitive subject for our society be involved in press articles” I thought the society would want to bat for our team but considering they didn’t even know what The Tab was anyway I didn’t hold much hope.

Undeterred, I managed to find out that  Queen’s Court on Thursday night for “U Pop” is the gay equivalent of Fruity. I got dressed up and was bladdered by the time I was there, though I was told that this wasn’t a prerequisite…(Stupid Amber Cars). Jeni stepped up as my wingwoman for the night and I had the best time.

I had to fight the boys for the podium and Lady Gaga was played on the loop but in general everyone there just wanted to have a good time. Outside in the smoking area we were drunk enough to ask girls why so many live up to the stereotype of shaved heads, shirts and jeans – for many it’s because they don’t want to be approached by greasy guys or it’s a way of spotting other lesbians.

I seriously got into the role of it all, rubbing up against anyone who would have me – I quite fancied this girl actually and put on my moves asking for a kiss… until a much larger not so attractive grenade came up to me and told me they were engaged. Awkward.

The girl dressed in a full batman suit was getting my bedroom eyes but I ended up settling for this girl at the 2 o clock drop.

As a change of scene, rubbing up with transgenders and being out danced by the guys was so good, there were a lot of old preying men out though and as a student I could imagine that being quite uncomfortable.

Obviously I can’t imagine how difficult it is to be a lesbian but from what I’ve heard there aren’t enough nights outs in Leeds to meet other girls and the haircuts are a way of securing who they are.

Could I switch guys for girls? Yeah potentially, I woke up the next morning and I’d already got a couple of texts from some girls I was chirpsing and that never happens.

  • Jess

    "get over the prejudice" …..clearly you haven't.

  • Sally Parker

    This article is a complete and utter joke.
    Firstly, it doesn't deserve to be called an 'article' in the first place. It reminds me of a pointless diary entry that has no purpose and that no-one cares about.
    Secondly, the comment 'so I settled for this girl' has left me fuming. The girl you have 'settled for' happens to be one of my best mates. She is one of the most sweet, caring, kindest, funniest, beautifulist people I know. What gives you the right to pass judgement on her? You are so unbelievably arrogant and rude. Who do you actually think you are? Seriously?
    Thirdly, do you even have permission from the people for these photo's to be published? It will interesting to see what happens when I report this post.

  • Sally Parker

    Finallly, the 'article' is so homophobic. You need to take a long hard look at your-self in a mirror. Your hideous personality really does shine through in this shitely written piece of garbage.
    'Could I switch guys for girls? Yeah potentially'. Don't make me laugh. I for one would touch you with a barge pole, but only to wack you straight in the face with it.

  • Angry Person

    You're really something else!

    Its not the LGBT society's job to take you on a night out for your little project and can you blame them for being cautious of journalists after all the rubbish and blatant lies they've had to deal with over the past few years?

    Going up to people and asking them why they fit a stereotype is incredibly offensive. I personally wear the clothes that I wear and I have my hair the way it is because I want to. Having short hair and wearing baggy clothes gets me attention from men that is almost consistently hostile and I most certainly don't try and look the way I look to be a beacon to other lesbians! I wouldn't dream of coming up to you and asking why you fit the stereotype of a straight girl, firstly, its rude and secondly, I don't give a damn what you wear and how you have your hair because it doesn't matter!

    Being a lesbian is not a role! You don't choose to be gay and the fact you've written an article about how you did for a night is disgusting. Especially where you say you might switch, that just completely ridicules and demeans everything every LGBT person has fought for and is fighting for just for us to be able to live a life free from discrimination.

    The term transvestite is offensive. You should have probably done a little research before you banged your head against your keyboard and produced this article.

    Admittedly, there is one good bit to this article: 'Obviously I can’t imagine how difficult it is to be a lesbian'. No you really can't and to be honest, I think you've probably just made life more difficult for lesbians. But unfortunately, you didn't end your sentence there and you continued on to be very offensive – I don't secure who I am with a hair cut and that is a ridiculous notion! Why are you obsessed with how lesbians have their hair?!

    I wonder how many of the people in the photos you've used here knew that they would be published online? Did you not have any ethical issues with posting them and possibly outing people? Did that even occur to you?

    If you really wanted to help reduce prejudice, I think, and correct me if I'm wrong, getting bladdered may not have been the right way to go about it. I understand that going to a gay bar might be intimidating but getting drunk probably didn't help your memory when you tried to write this.

    I sincerely hope you put some thought and research into your next article if you write one.

  • mysteryparadox

    I think my biggest concern about this article is that it is appallingly written by a Leeds Uni student.

  • Marina

    People like you are the reason why 'straight'-looking lesbians and bisexual women get treated with caution (or even suspicion) by LBT girls who worry are scared of being used or messed about. You're the reason why so many straight guys think lesbians are a valid target or a spectator sport. You're the reason why so many ignorant people think bisexuality is 'a phase' or somehow insincere.

    For me the problem with this piece isn't that it's offensive but that it's damaging. Stop fucking with other people's lives and distorting their perceptions please. You have no idea of the damage you're causing.

  • Bee

    So you changed 'transvestites' to 'transgenders'. Still wrong.

    At least you had the decency to put your photo up so we all know who to avoid in future.

  • sam

    i don't understand…..just stop it please

  • Anon

    This is horrendous

  • Grace

    Your assumption that rubbing up against girls makes you a lesbian is horrific. This whole article is a degrading piece of trash, and I feel for the people who spent a night in a club with you thinking you were e genuine person.

  • Harry

    I’m going to ignore the quality of this article. But the comments left by some of the LGBT crowd have been nothing short of ridiculous, bordering on fascist. You say that because the author is not some sort of certified lesbian, that she is offending homosexuals worldwide in choosing to get with a girl, why shouldn’t she be able to get with who she wants, male or female, this doesn’t mean she is offending anyone, and people responding with personal digs at the author are far more offensive and harmful to LGBT than this article. Many seem to take a “keep out of our clubs” mentality, but I’m sure if a heterosexual only bar was set up, you’d be rightfully outraged. I’m a straight male and have been to several gay bars not only in Leeds, are you saying that just because I wasn’t born the same to you I’d be subjected to all this abuse and allegations of homophobia? After all, isn’t it what you’re fighting for that you be accepted for the way you were born? Maybe you should check your HETEROPHOBIA and stop playing the victim at every given opportunity, and look at how offensive and abusive you are being to Ellie Clarke. She is a student journalist (I’m guessing) of course the article isn’t going to be bang on perfect, but to say it’s harmful to a way of life is ludicrous, reactionary bullshit.

  • Katy Laing

    I quite enjoyed this. It's about time someone exploded the myth of homosexuality. Go you!

    • arewereallymyths?

      What on earth is the 'myth of homosexuality'? I thought homosexuality was real? #confused

  • Rosie

    Despite the deeply offensive content, Ellie Clarke can't write for shit.

  • RedHead

    I see a promising career at UniLad ahead for you…
    Love, a girl who spent a large part of her school career being called a dyke by girls like you just for having short hair.

  • IFHG

    I fucking hate gays.

  • ProfJ

    This is not so much journalism as it is the drunken scribblings of a deluded girl who seems to think that your sexuality is just something you can "switch". Get a grip, love.

  • Bisexual woman

    This made me feel sick. Stop being a judgmental tourist in a community that we need to feel safe, meet people and have fun without hassle – yes, LGBT people can have fun!
    It's like you've never met LGBT people before, we're humans FYI, with feelings and lives, not a joke or an experiment.

  • Anonymous

    Awww… it's someone who needs to resort to being offensive to get noticed.

  • Flo

    I had never heard of the Tab up until this article and to be honest I don't think I will be reading it again. No only is the writer clearly prejudice to what she doesn't understand but some editor has stupidly allowed this to be published. Think before you speak (or in this case write) about what you don't understand.

  • Pingback: College Current Events Roundup 11/5 | Surviving College()

  • George

    Good article. Enjoyable read. Very funny in places.

    (From someone who would apparently meet the LGBT criteria but cannot stand the idea of having coffee with such a whining set of militant letter writers.)

  • Jaki

    So gays are elitist snobs,, who'd have though it =// why do you have have your whole world shaken by fairly inoffensive probe from some naive fresher. I'm bisexual, in liverpool our lgbt scene is much friendlier (and pretty slutty tbh :p but it's always fun and light-hearted) I've seen every stereotype of bitchy gays in the comments that really put me off getting involved back home. You're enforcing far worse stereotypes of yourself just by being dicks, and my gay friends wince at the thought of you. We all know a proper drama queen, and they don't tend to be popular for very long. You guys need to get over yourselves

  • jonathan

    you're an idiot.

  • http://societaladdress.blogspot.com Sabrina

    This article is absolutely pointless. Quite literally, because no point is actually made. Just some girl who went to a gay club and wanted to write about her experience. Might as well have done that in her diary.

    I can see why people find this offensive. Personally I just think it's dumb and testifies of a lack of writing skills, intellect, empathy and respect.

    Oh, right. The statement that it's a golden rule people in uni experiment with their sexuality. I know many people who would disagree on that.

  • http://societaladdress.blogspot.com Sabrina

    Oh right, I forgot to mention uneducated.

  • Sure sure

    This is a poorly written/thought out article, but the purpose/idea seems to be decent. I don’t take this as a ‘hit’ on the lgbt community so much as a very real representation of societies young females(and their lack of real life knowledge.) Young girls have been using lesbian experiences to get attention for years for various reasons, media uses gay/lesbian interaction for attention, and now some girl decided to write about it like its a normal thing-because it is. There is nothing new or strange about what this girl did, the only outrage should be that young girls think it is a required part of life as a female to be with other women sexually. I believe this is a real issue for young insecure girls/women, becoming confused because they can’t differentiate between what’s socially expected and socially acceptable, but nowhere are they being encouraged to just be themselves, supported and loved for who they are, whatever they look like. who your sexual partners or preferences include should not define who you are, because then you are limited to being a definition or stereotype, and everyone is much more than that. And remember, this article is written by someone who decided to get drunk and try out the lesbian scene and gather info under the influence from others under the influence….but at least it brought the opportunity to look deeper, I think if the writer had taken this approach it would have had potential to open up the issues regarding social pressures vs individuality amongst young females, but clearly she was too caught up in getting the attention I’ve described to even consider including a purposeful thought process. No one should feel pressure to conform to any sexuality, I’m glad she had fun, at least she won’t have regrets about her les experiences, just her article. 😉

  • Sure sure

    Oh ya, and I’m sorry to all the offended lgbt members that feel girls experimenting openly takes away from their legitamacy, thats life though. but if you take a second to think outside of the lgbt defensive line, this type of thinking and acting is a real thing, high numbers of ‘straight’ girls do go through this phase, it’s sad that this is an article available for them, but why hate a straight girl for trying out being a les? (I know the article is ignorant and contentless and a desperate attempt at attention) but lgbt’s should accept that girl on girl experiences arent just limited to “full fledged” lesbians, but straight girls are entitled to have phases without getting shoved off the fence back into the straight pen where they must ‘sit down n shut up about lesbian activity’ unless they are trying to come out. Isn’t that what the lgbt community is trying to rise up from? Being told what to do sexually?

    This is not at everyone, just those hating on her for experimenting…. :) <3

  • Tom Thornton

    JEEZ, I always think that people are too quick to find something 'offensive' especially if it involves them – CHILL OUT. it was an experimental article, exploring various components of todays society, just because it happened to be about the LGBT society doesnt mean that everyone should get hung up on it, dont you have bigger things in your life to be worried about? interesting to say the least.

  • Anonymous

    I agree, this article is pretty immature and pointless.

Heard something newsworthy?

The Terrace want you to design their new sandwich

This could literally be the start of your chef career

Mad second year dyes her hair the colours of the German flag

When asked about it, she said ‘I just fucking love flags’

My week in men’s clothes

Apparently everyone’s doing it

What’s the worst lie you told your parents?

‘I was a real sack of shit as a teenager’

, Chief Reporter

I love living in the ‘uncool’ part of Hackney

It’s cheap and occasionally cheerful

, Assistant Editor

London’s nightlife is nothing on a night in a country pub

Take me back to the Black Horse

, Contributing Editor

Getting wasted with Kanye West fans in Notting Hill

To celebrate the release of The Life of Pablo