What your revision playlist says about how you’ll do in your exams

Here’s some more ready-made procrastination. Use this list to search your soul and find out how your music choice will impact your exams.

Justin Bieber

Used to grappling with all sorts of profound questions on a regular basis (eg ‘What Do You Mean’ and ‘Where Are You Now’), your essays will have a philosophical tone that will def score high. You’ll impress the examiner with your thoughtful extension of simple points, in the manner that you’ve picked up  from Justin – ‘is it too late now to say sorry…because I’m missing more than just your body.’

The Gladiator soundtrack

Your exam answers will be epic af and dazzlingly orchestrated. You might make the examiner cry with majestic emotional overload.

Debussy

You’ve astutely realised this is just the right sort of musique to get your brain in revision mode. Your answers will be composed, harmonious and sensitive.

Orchestra Baobab

You prob do languages? Your exams will go swimmingly because you’re as calm and cool as your tunes.

Levelz

When you arrive (in the exam hall) ‘you bring de energy you bring de VIBE’. You’re gassed for your essays because they’re just another chance at the mic for you really. ‘Internationally intelligent…wreckin ‘em, wreckin ‘em, feedin ‘em all dat medicine’ (1:59):  this outlook will form the basis of your exam technique and will prove extremely effective.

Queen

God knows you want to break free. But you will transform your desperation into an amazing passionate performance that the examiner will remember forever. It will prob turn into a living legend and a world tour and you will definitely get the bloody 2:1 and everything will be FINE

Function

You function well under pressure, you’re really intense and efficient and you can stay in the zone for hours. People wonder how you do it but honestly dark minimal techno is the only study drug you flex with.

Allegri’s Miserere

If you’re an arts student, your exam essays will be haunting and beautiful with all the right high notes. Maths or the sciences? You’ll be mind-blowingly accurate. Sound choice this one.

Radiohead

You might feel like today in the Maughan, you’re not living, you’re just killing time. And you can’t help the feeling, you could blow through the ceiling. But even so, you stay optimistic and say to yourself – no matter what happens now, I shouldn’t be afraid. Today has been, the most perfect day I’ve ever seen.  In this way, you float like a feather, in a beautiful world. You’ve got this awareness that – we separate, like ripples on a blank shore, in rainbows. What more could you possibly need to slay that exam? Maybe just one brand new song with an accompanying stop motion vid? Oh wait…

Taylor Swift

You are a great problem solver: you accurately identify the issue just like Taylor does (‘I knew you were trouble when you walked in’) and then you get on with smashing it. Your exam answers will be gorgeous and leggy and loveable and multi-award-winning.