Stamford Street bans post-it notes

Residents of Stamford Street Apartments have been left in a sticky situation after post-it note window decorations were banned.

The decision was announced in a group email and was blamed on “complaints received from residents.”

In what must certainly be a sad time for local stationery salesmen, freshers have been told that “further action” will be taken against any flat with post-it notes on view from their windows.

Not so happy anymore

An email sent to all residents of the apartments stated that the displays had been reported as offensive and were to be taken down with “immediate effect.”

It added: “The complaints are regarding the messages that some residents have displayed in the windows of their kitchens and bedrooms using post-it notes and other means.

Smooth criminal

“Whilst we appreciate these messages may be humorous to some and are not likely intended to cause offence, there have been a number of comments and complaints received.”

Residents have now questioned Stamford Street’s reasons for telling students to remove their sticky notes, as  previous years have not been instructed to take them down.

All those trees died for nothing

Jack, a first year Politics student, said: “I don’t really understand how the displays could have been seen as offensive, it’s just banter isn’t it?”

Another disgruntled first year English student added: “Removing them was a sad day. How will people know where flat parties are now?”

In a collective statement, residents of the notorious “VOTE UKIP” flat said: “To be told to remove the post-it notes is an infringement of freedom of expression and, given that there was never an intention to offend anyone, the new rule should be viewed as oppressive.

“Is this Stamford Street or the Stanford prison experiment?”

Residents continue to pray for the removal of the ban and the restoration of a colourful courtyard.