Just because I want to be a housewife, doesn’t mean I’m not a feminist

We aren’t all Beyoncé and maybe that isn’t such a bad thing


I am a feminist. I’ve had a job since I was 13 years old and I love the fact I can earn my own wage and be independent. My boyfriend doesn’t pay for everything and I have absolutely no belief he should do, or that doing so makes him a “gent” or a better boyfriend.

But I reluctantly label myself a feminist due to the fact a lot of people get feminism confused with extreme feminism which – although many won’t admit it – is exactly what it has turned into. Feminism, in too many cases, has gone too far now.

I don’t believe gender should have any typical roles for anyone who doesn’t want to adopt them. However, I do believe that if a woman, or man, would like to identify with the typical, traditional image of their sex, then so be it – that’s their choice.

Feminism means we now have a choice

That’s where feminism has gone too far for me, and where so many women have really let me down. Despite the fact I’ve always worked and I’m studying for a degree to help me start a career, my biggest ambition is to one day have a family. When I have my own kids (give me a good 10 years yet though), I want to be a housewife and mum, and I want my husband to take care of putting the bread on the table, as my Grannie would call it. I’m not saying that’s what every woman should do, but I don’t see any problem with that, if that’s what myself and my partner would want.

However, I’m too scared to say this to a lot of women. When I have admitted to this, I’ve had my head bitten off, being asked “how can you want to rely on a man?”, or “how can you give up on a career like that?”.

But that’s the thing: feminism, to me, isn’t just equality, it’s the fact women now have the opportunity to have a choice. Not so long ago, women had no choice but to do the previously mentioned, they had no options. The great thing about feminism women do have that choice; we have freedom to choose how to be a woman and what that means to us individually. I see no problems with wanting to raise a family and that be my “job”, but I guarantee a partner would rely on me for just as much as I would need him.

Extreme feminists need to stop forcing their extreme views on all women. We’ve come so far to allow women to have the freedom we do now. Yes, I completely agree we still have some way to go, but I think the fact women have so much choice in their lives is an incredible way to have come.

Feminism isn’t going to get any further unless we stop attacking each other for our choices and be proud there are so many different opportunities and paths which women can take. Not all women have to be sassy and “independent”. We aren’t all Beyoncé and maybe that isn’t such a bad thing.