I have epilepsy, and I’m on three types of medication for it

‘I’ve woken up before, covered in blood’


People will often pause for a moment when they discover you’ve got a long-term condition like epilepsy. At university, away from home, it can be especially hard. You’re in a new place with new faces, new surroundings and you’ve got to learn to stand on your own two feet. The phone calls from Mum have just stopped – yes, I have remembered to take my tablets.

I’ve got epilepsy, a neurological disorder which causes seizures. They can happen wherever, whenever and they usually take me out for a few days. I was diagnosed at 11 years old, and as I got older the condition worsened. I have three types of medications, two I take twice a day. I have three different types of seizures. I’ve been told by doctors I will have this condition for the rest of my life, but that’s OK. It can be controlled by medication to a certain extent. There’s no known cause for my epilepsy and because it’s generalised, they can’t pinpoint where exactly the fault is in my brain. I’m also not a candidate for brain surgery.

The most well known type is a tonic-clonic seizure. In these, I lose consciousness and all my limbs shake. I have no control over what I’m doing and more often than not, I injure myself. A vivid memory is when my parents found me in the middle of the night, stuck between the metal bed frame and a wardrobe. I was lucky not to break my arm, and instead had a lovely maze of bruises. I’ve woken up before, covered in blood and not knowing anyone around me.

Me (left)

Course Christmas ball (me, front second from left)

When I was still in sixth form, I went through a bad time with these seizures. I can’t recall the time during my GCSE examinations, I have no recollection of those years. My parents took me on a trip to Disneyland Paris, and I’ve absolutely no memory of going. Sometimes, I take a bit longer in remembering a name, or a word when I’m trying to talk.

The seizures which are most common for me at the moment are absence seizures. They can be mistaken for daydreaming but really, I’m just unconscious for a few moments. I remain standing but wake with lots of confusion and a wicked headache. I can also have a mix of the two – I shake, but I’m still conscious.  These can often hurt more than the others – I get embarrassed more as I’m aware people are watching.

There was a time where the number of seizures I had in a day were in the double figures. I was stuck in a vicious cycle of waking, having a seizure and falling back to sleep. The seizures tire me out and after taking emergency medication, it’s easier to just sleep the pain away. Triggers for me include tiredness and hunger, which mean I might not come on a night out until the sunlight hits, or I’ll save money so I can eat good meals. What it doesn’t mean is that I can’t come out at all or I’m a total bore.

Fun 20 hour stint in A&E

I know I’m not alone with this type of thing at uni. Many students come to uni with a life-long condition and adapt to living with them. My friend from home had type one diabetes: a condition meaning the body can’t regulate blood sugar levels and has to rely on injections. One of my best memories was attending a concert with her – we drank, had fun and didn’t let our conditions dictate.

Presumptions often rule our world. So you can’t come out for a few drinks? Are you sure you can come in this club? What do I do if you’re sick? I’ll explain to the ones who need to know how to take care of me. I’ve been lucky – I have a good group of friends who look out for me. They’ve been there when the paramedics have shown up, and keep me up to date at uni. I mean, it’s not every boyfriend who waits 20 hours in A&E is it?

@gs_jessie