How to ACTUALLY apply fake tan properly

Life is SO much more fun with a tan, but why do so many of you get it wrong? 

Looking like a walking orange isn’t acceptable, and let’s be realistic, there’s only a few pale beauties who can really pull off the Wednesday Adams look – so start getting it right.

Every girl’s dressing table

Use a tan mitt

For goodness sake, you don’t want the guy you’ve been swooning over the past couple of weeks to think you’re forgetting to use toilet paper. Go to B&M and buy yourself a mitt for all of two pounds, and you can save your hands and body from looking like an abstract work of art. This will aid in an all round smoother coverage.

Shower before and after

HAVE A WASH YOU BISCUIT SMELLING CON ARTIST. Showering before will even your skin’s surface for a smoother, natural look. Depending on your skin type, you may want to exfoliate, but only do this before application as it will strip away all colour afterwards.

Then, allow a whole night of beauty sleep to let it dry and develop for optimum glow. Showering in the morning will rid some of that cat-wee aroma you get with some tan.

Use moisturiser 

You know when it’s been about a week since you applied your tan, and you’re starting to look like the driest species of lizard ever to have evolved? Yeah, guess what, it’s because you aren’t moisturising. Not only is this essential for healthy, baby bottom-soft skin, but it’s essential for a smooth and natural looking tan – real or fake.

Tan your face

Yes, this may seem daunting, but do it. Apply small amounts to your cheeks, chin, and forehead, using more moisturiser than tan.

It’s frightful when you see who you think could be Caspar the Friendly Ghost strutting into the club, but realize they have the body shape and colour of Marge Simpson. MIND BLOW, get it right.

Blend baby, blend

Did you ever see a person born with orange armpits, or a permanent line under their jaw? No, I didn’t think so, and no, the cocktail of tan, deodorant, and stubble does NOT look normal in your arm pit.

Please refrain from entering the under arm, just blend around the edges. This area is unlikely to tan under natural light anyway, so just leave it. Similarly, pay attention to your jaw-line. Moisturiser once again will aid the blending process, alongside a trusty foundation brush if the fakery is proving difficult to conceal.

Buy a suitable foundation

You have your natural foundation and you should have your tan colour foundation. In all its irony, you are seeking for a natural look, so treat yourself.

Tan your hands and feet

But only with a mitt (see rule one). White hands and feet do not match a glowing, bronzed torso. Your circulation really is not failing, so why should your tan be? But, it’s unnecessary to apply a lot of tan to these areas, so once again use a higher moisturiser to tan ratio.

Tip: Apply Vaseline to stop the tan gathering in awkward areas.

Let it dry – then get dressed

Your clothes will be stained, not to mention your bed sheets. And you will stink, even after your shower. Fake tan likes to attach itself to anything soft. That’s why it loves your moisturised skin so much – but keep the relationship firmly between skin and tan. Not with your garmz.

Tip: Have extra large, loose tops to wear when waiting for tan to dry.

Wear your tan, and wear it proud

Remember the giggling sunshine baby from the Telly Tubbies? She’s the subconscious inspiration drawing you to the tan isle every time you’re in Boots. Happy times. So flaunt your glow, and be tan-proud.