Can everyone please stop with the ‘new year, new me’ nonsense

Stop clogging up the treadmills

We’re quickly approaching Christmas and New Year when basic girls start clogging up Facebook newsfeeds with their ‘new year, new me’ posts. In retaliation we also see the standard ‘brace yourself’ Game of Throne memes between such statuses; it’s an unpleasant time for everyone on social media.

A New Year’s resolution is meant to be an act of self-improvement or doing something nice for someone else, but I never see anything that even remotely shows people care about others in need. Every year it’s the same posts and, let’s be honest, does anyone really keep these New Year’s resolutions past February?

Here are some of the most annoying ‘new year new me’ posts that we’ve all experienced over the years.

I’m going to become vegetarian

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Great, you’re trying to help the environment and wildlife in some way; no doubt having some epiphany about the sanctity of life whilst getting drunk on a bottle of Echo Falls Summer Fruits, but I guarantee that by 3 February you’ll be smashing a bacon sandwich. Being vegetarian is not a trend or something that you can just decide you want to be, it’s a way of life for a lot of people. We are carnivores, so if you’ve never had a feeling of disgust before now, then you’re sure as hell not going to be vegetarian for long before your innate hunger starts craving the blood of a cow.

Anything that revolves around dieting and losing weight

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This is definitely top of everyone’s resolution list. That really cute dress from Topshop is hanging nicely in your summer wardrobe and you desperately want to get into it by June – but between now and then there’s pancake day and Easter. There is a surge in the amount of gym memberships bought, and throughout January it’s hard to find a spare treadmill or leg press to use. It’s fantastic that people have the mind set to want to make a change, but the lack of  motivation when they don’t see results immediately doesn’t allow them to see themselves as the models in the media.

Spend less and save more money

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Unless there is something you really need in the next year, like a new car or a mortgage on a house, then saving money is not an easy option – especially as a student. Those double vodka and Coke call to you on a Saturday night, and before you know you’ve spent your student finance for the semester on alcohol and takeaways. This year will be different though, you’ve promised yourself you will not spend as much as last year and have even bought yourself a ceramic piggy bank. March comes along and you’re whacking that piggy bank into a thousand pieces to count the silver you can take on tour.

Being more organised

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Hannah your room is a mess and you’ve done three all-nighters this week for the essay due tomorrow. You’re about as organised for life as the rest of here trying to make it through three years of university.

Promising to not take no more shit from anyone, especially guys

They were with a guy for two months and are now man-hating woman that wants to be strong and independent; they will not take more lies and crap. They announce that they will be ‘nicer’, ‘kinder’, ‘compassionate’ and an overall better person, like it’s not at all possible to be this kind of person all year round.

Quitting smoking and/or drinking

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One night’s sleep is not going to take away your addiction. Detoxing is a long and gruelling process and it won’t happen straight away like many people think it will. If you’ve made it to the end of January sober then well done, the hardest part is over. But it doesn’t matter how determined you are, this New Year’s resolution always crumbles around spring. Surprisingly, this isn’t due to a lack of motivation by the individual, but by the tormenting nagging that one receives from their housemates. Their will-power slowly decreases day by day when they see their friends partying every Saturday night; they’re not the most supportive people when it comes to a dry January. You inevitably tell yourself that being sober will be no fun throughout the three years of uni, so detoxing will begin right after you graduate…maybe after you come back from your year travelling.

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