The ultimate advice for Murano freshers

Listen up, Murano freshers.

You’ve entered the big, bad world of uni and you might be feeling slightly confused. Don’t worry – the ultimate guide for Murano freshers is here.

The place of dreams

Don’t do a big weekly shop

Your Murano fridge is not a safe place to leave food for longer than absolutely necessary.

If you live with rugby boys, keep eggs locked away in your bedroom

Or risk them being tossed around the kitchen in a drunken rampage. Also at risk: ketchup, milk, washing up liquid.

Murano plus rugby boys equals this

Don’t shag your flatmate…

Just don’t.

… But when you inevitably shag your flatmate

The world hasn’t ended, you don’t have to move to QM, put up with the awkwardness for a few days/weeks and hold your head high and try not to drool when you pass him/her on their way back from the shower wearing only a towel.

Big Tesco in Maryhill has the best deals on booze

All the booze-y goodness

You can snag yourself a fancy 70cl of lime Smirnoff vodka for £12-£14 if you time it right. They also have a bigger reduced section and more selection for food, toiletries and all the other things you’re supposed to spend money on apart from booze. Resist the urge to pop to where’s closest (there’s also a McDonald’s right opposite – bonus.)

Don’t stress too much about missing lectures, first year literally doesn’t count

Save the stress for third year.

If you live in a big flat give the kitchen a wee tidy on a Tuesday night before the cleaners come round on Wednesday

They get narky and you end up swimming in your own filth and being charged at the end of the year if they’re unable to clean it too many times.

Clean dat up

Don’t assume the best pals made in Freshers’ week are going to be the people you end up living with next year

It might not be the people you bond with over pints of fun, drunken chips and cheese and bathroom selfies. Don’t sign your life away too soon as things change throughout the year especially living in the lovely close confines of Murano.

Make use of the nice cushy study zone around exam time

The library is a manic cut-throat frenzy of a place where you want to put off for going to as long as possible. Besides the weather will probably be Harambe and who can be arsed with that soggy 30 minute walk?

So much fun

Get involved in something other than your subject

Or sport or societies or whatever tickles your fancy. Your flat might be good craic but the more the merrier and there’s the added benefit for your far off CV prospects.

Buy a hip flask

And pre just right and you won’t need to pay extortionate prices for drinks in clubs. (NB this is a tricky balance only achievable through trial and error.)

Wear trainers out to the clubs

Especially in the West End. I don’t know how many times I tried to brave heels before accepting defeat but let me save you the hassle. Don’t wear them.

You don’t want to embark on THAT walk in heels

Most importantly… Appreciate the heaven which is Murano

Every time Murano is making you want to crawl into the nasty bin juice puddle on the floor and die, remember all us older students who would give anything for another night reliving the dream in our favourite student halls.