How to decide who to live with next year

Every year as a student, you’ve got to decide who you’re going to live with. Whether or not you want to stay in the current place you in with the people you have already, or whether you want to spread your wings and live somewhere new with some different people.

It’s a big decision and it’s one that you really should put a lot of thought into. Unless you’ve got a heavy timetable, and a heavy affair with the library at the weekend, then you’re going to have to spend a fair bit of time with your flatmates and I have a few pointers if you’re struggling on who to pick and how to go about telling the unlucky ones the bad news.

First things first, if you have decided that you 100 per cent don’t want to live with someone, then tell them ASAP. If they thought that you were going to live together, then the chances are they’re gonna be slightly upset that you don’t want to live them anymore – don’t make the process worse for them than it is by giving them a tiny period of time to find a new home and new flatmates, it’s a dick move.

Most people want to live with their best friends, which is exactly fair – why wouldn’t you want to live with the people you get on with the most and enjoy spending the most time with? But, you’ve got to bear in mind if these best friends you have, are really your best friends or if they’re just the people you lived with in halls in first year with and got along with.

If this applies to you, please bear in mind you have only known these people for a short period of time, and you all have to live together and you all are trying to get along because you HAVE to. You may be lucky, these may be your best friends for life now, but more often than not, this first group of friends will last as long as your new years resolutions.

lucky for me yes, friends for life were made

No biggie – there are loads of friends out there you just haven’t met yet. But, time is running out and everyone’s stressing and making plans and there’s a lot of pressure to say yes to anyone who asks you. Just make sure that if you’re planning on living with a new group of friends, you’ve all spent enough time together that’s not partying, or being hungover in bed because most people get along in those circumstances.

Do things with each other, go shopping, go for a walk, go out for dinner, talk to each other; Basically GET TO KNOW ONE ANOTHER SOBER. If you like it – awesome, possible flatmate if you don’t then decision made – not a possible flat mate.

Too many pals or nae enuf pals?

Another issue when living with a group of best friends is how large your group is. Living with a three, is a hard time because usually – someone’s going to be left out and when people feel like they’re getting left out, even when they’re not – tensions run high. Ideally you want to avoid a three unless you’ve been the best of friends for years, purely for this reason. Try aim for a higher number, or even number to avoid any left out feelings within flatties.

Mucky Pups

You may not think that living with someone who is messy will be a big deal, at the end of the day you’ll only be sharing a kitchen and a living room so really it can’t be that bad? Wrong. Living with someone that is messy, even if you are messy yourself, but especially if you are not messy is super frustrating. The kitchen is the hardest place to keep clean anyway, they’re usually small and nobody can ever be fucked with dishes. But when you move out of halls and realise that leaving food around attracts mice, and as your workloads gets heavier, living in a messy environment and not being able to cook anything because of the horrific shit storm the kitchen’s been left it is not great. Chances are you’ll end up flipping, and offending someone after it all get a bit too much. So, either make sure the people you’re living with don’t currently live in an absolute pit, or get ready to be that dick that’s constantly reminding people that things should be left cleanish and possibly risk getting on everyone’s nerves.

i am that absolute dick

Couples

When faced with the decision as to live with a couple or not, chances are you already are aware of the hellish repercussions this could cause.  Be aware that couples are going to want alone time, without you, and if that offends you then don’t live with a couple. Living with a couple as a three is probably one of the worst ideas in my opinion, unless you’re planning an open relationship or really enjoy your alone time.

loved up in the corner where they belong, laughed at – not with

If the couple are not serious, and haven’t been together long then you really, really need to think about it. I’m sure you’re all aware of the honey moon period, it is a thing, and at this age asking your other half to move in is more thank likely a result of this feeling and may or may not last much longer. Everyone’s different, but nobody can guarantee that their relationship will not end within months, leaving you all in a very awkward, very teary, very sticky sitch. Also beware if you’re planning on living with a friend who is in a serious relationship, chance are their other half will also be spending a lot of time at the flat too so if you don’t get on with them, you might want to take that into consideration too.

Gossips

Everyone loves a bitch, don’t get me wrong. But, there are a few people out there that only enjoy having a conversation with you if it is about someone else. If you’re planning on moving in with someone who likes to bitch a lot, and you’ve never really had many conversations that aren’t based on bitching then another siren should be going off in your head.

gossip central – steer clear

If this person likes to bitch loads, then when you live them they’re probably going to start bitching about you and everyone else in the flat. Tensions run high when you re surrounded by people constantly, and it is easy to bitch to others about it, but people can be mean and living with a group of people that are just bitching about one another isn’t enjoyable for anyone.

Sesh monkeys

Students like to party. But in order to pass, some students can’t afford to party. First year is all full of seshes, spews and possibly shite and it’s great but it can’t last forever.

the paint parties won’t last forever baby

As you move on in uni, your workload does too and for some, going out as much as they used to is just not an option. For others, going out just as much as they used to is just a way of life, and nothings going to stop them. If you’re planing on moving in with a friend whose been so drunk they’ve ended up pissing themselves in Viper, then you’re going to want to make sure they have respect for others.

if she spends her spare time in bins she’s probably not the best candidate

Go out, have your fun, but do not disturb everyone else. If you’re planning on living with someone who has a lot of friends, or tends to pick up some new ones on the way home from a night out for a last minute after party then be very weary. After parties are usually not so fun if its 4am, you’re sober and are facing a 9am the following morning.

Basically, when choosing your flatmates you want to live with people who are honest, who you know well and who you get a long with. It’s not rocket science, but it’s no walk in the park either, especially if its your first time choosing who to live with.

Telling people you don’t want to live with them

Telling someone you don’t want to live with them is a really difficult thing to do for some people. Especially if the person in question is one of your friends. If you say no, you’re scared the friendship will be over and everything will just get super awkward.

(awkward turtle)

It probably will get awkward. Your years as young adults are awkward, because you’re learning so much about life and the way it works and the way people work differently, things rarely go smoothly because we’re all human and all prone to a few fuck ups – so don’t worry and just get used to it, things are not always going to go your way sunshine.

The best way to go about it is to be honest, if the reason you don’t want to live with the person is because they’re one of the above types of people, share the article with them and let them see the beasts they are. Jokes. Just tell them straight, yeah it may offend them but its your opinion, its your choice and its going to be your problem for a long time if that’s just the type of person they are.

If you’re not down for a face to face confrontation, then message them. It might be slightly awkward seeing them afterwards, but at least you can write down everything you want to say and yous can both deal with it and allow sufficient time to cool down and deal with the outcome.

If you’ve lost all hope, share this on their page and they’ll probably take the hint.

Good luck.