What happened to the underwear at the SSB?

Where have all the Calvins gone?


This year’s Safer Sex Ball was a success, there was loose behaviour and even looser morals all round. Ms. Dynamite was pumping out tunes left, right and centre, taking everyone right back to 2002, when she was a big deal.

You could go to a wedding dressed like that

But the one thing that left me confused was the lack of underwear. Some of the costumes were brilliant, but the SSB in previous years has built up quite the reputation of people turning up in just their smalls. This didn’t seem to be the case this year.

This was the least undressed SSB since records began. Apart from that winter one last year, which was a bit shit so that doesn’t count.

Practically fully dressed

The unfortunate reason for this is the unfortunate break two years ago, after it was banned by the guild, and the confusion of the two side by side events last year. It’s led to people becoming ignorant and unaware of the SSB’s fabled and under dressed origins.

Respectfully bold

Perhaps it is best that we don’t all just don our undergarments and head to the ball – as the mixture of people wearing extravagant and well thought out costumes, and the shock of seeing who has just gone for a pair of tighty whiteys and nothing else, surely adds to the event’s already magical atmosphere. Although, I don’t think that’s quite the point of our beloved SSB.

This year has taken us back to the glory days of people humping in the Ram, and we can only expect more great ones in the future. But we’ve got to ask ourselves, where have all the Calvins gone?